Super Viral Meme #3

Sometimes things are just so true so it's just so fun!

Dog Bread

This is another vending machine toy called inu-pan, meaning dog bread. There are six types in all.

It says the intended age for this product is 15 and older. I think it's probably true that a lot of 14-year-olds just don't get dog bread, you know? And also they might choke on it or get weird ideas. I had to tell my 2-year-old, "No! Maybe I'll let you touch it in 13 years. We'll see how mature you are then. This isn't some kind of toy! This is dog bread! Adults only!"

Let's take a closer look at the six types of dog bread.

Obviously the top three are the really high quality bread dogs. The doughnut one is cool as well, but what's with two waffle dogs? They're not even in the waffles. I really think they just put in a couple crap ones so if you get one of them, you feel like you have to buy another.

And wouldn't you know it, just my luck, I got a waffle dog. I'd even say it's the worse of the two waffle dogs.

I suppose I might get another one if I find myself drunk and with extra coins at the grocery store.

Mecha Comics

I don't know, I like looking at dogs dressed up as humans, so...



Mecha (mecya... whatever) means "a lot" or "super" or "really" depending on which word it's in front of. So mecha comic means basically "a lot of comics". It's a service that allows you to read comics on your phone or whatever device you think is "hip" (hip here does not refer to the body part but rather signifies that something is in fashion). In this New Year ad, the lyrics are something like:

I really really really really wanna read comics.
Wanna read wanna read wanna read mecha comics.
Search for it, tap and read right away!
Mecha macha macha mecha comic.

Here's the new summer commercial that also has humans at a spa.



In this one the dog has mecha written on him so the concept makes way more sense.

Library Cards Are Cool

This an ad that's been on the windows of trains lately. It's for library cards and the slogan is, "Get one and you'll want to read books." I guess you'll be like one of those famous reading space dogs. One interesting fact you can learn from reading: Even with that fishbowl on its head, that dog will be dead within in minutes suffering a horrendous death. The bends will begin within seconds and eventually parts of its body will expand to twice their normal size! Get your card kids!

Kyary Pamyu Pamyu - Mottai-Nightland

You may remember a bit of this song from the AU commercial it was featured in. It combines the Japanese term "mottainai" (meaning "what a waste") with the extremely common English phrase "Nightland." So that pretty much explains why Kyary transforms into a dog and craps strawberry ice cream. Other than that, this is pretty much a rip off of Super Mario Bros. 2.

As usual, her lyrics are gibberish. The chorus is basically:
Because it's a waste, because it's a waste, 
I think of my dreams and cry.
Because it's a waste, because there's not enough,
I do mean things.

It's amazing how much those lyrics and the video perfectly capture the "nightland" in my head. Again, I should probably mention that I'm suicidal.
 

Red Shoes

Human A: I'm sure you're all aware that the new theme for our color photo album books is "red shoes." Obviously we're gonna get a dog wearing a hat to stand behind some, what else, red shoes. And yes, the slogan will be something like, "These shoes are just the right size for me." But here's the kicker: some of the background will be the same color as the font so it will be really difficult to read! It's like a metaphor for being human, or struggle, or something!

Human B: Sir, can I just say you better hope you don't get crucified...

Human A: Wha.. wha... what!?

Human B: ...because you're a modern day Jesus! Bravo sir!

Dog Bartender

The company Nisshinbo has been running a series of commercials starring dogs. In this one, the bartender says, "People are sensitive to bad news, but I think there must be some good news out there." Then a sign comes up that says, "Making a clean energy company a reality," and a guy says, "A company we need now, Nisshinbo." This ad actually makes more sense than the others.

In this one, the song's lyrics are, "Nisshinbo does various things, but... Nisshinbo, I can't explain what a single one is." Then the ending is the same. Most of the ads are like this, telling us we need the company but not really explaining anything they're doing. Anyway, I like dogs playing ping pong, so I'll try to buy whatever it is they're selling.

The Shame of Public Bowel Movements

It's hard to say if this dog is more embarrassed about crapping outside or the fact that his master seems to be getting off by picking it up.

Hachiko

This is the famous Hachiko statue outside Shibuya Station. When I was taking these pictures I heard a Japanese woman explain why it's here to an American.
Woman: He's Hachi.
Man: Ok.
Woman: Ahh...He's good dog.
Man: .....Ok.
Then they walked away to continue their magical date.

Hachiko is here because he used to meet his owner at the station everyday after work. Then, in 1925, the owner died and never came home. I guess no one explained this very well to Hachiko, because he waited for his owner everyday for nine years until his death. It seems crazy that dogs were allowed to run around Tokyo by themselves. Even today, Hachiko is celebrated for being so loyal. This statue was made, and his body was stuffed and put in The National Museum of Nature and Science. That's pretty weird.

Pooping Dog Game

The actual title is difficult to translate, but I think, "Squirts Out Dog," is pretty close. You don't need to watch much of this video, but it's a new children's game. It's kind of like Mouse Trap, but instead of a crazy chain reaction leading to the capture of a rodent, you squeeze a button until poop comes out of a dog. Basically, you roll a die which tells you how many times to squeeze the leash. If poop comes out, you get a point. If you get three points, you win. This game can literally never get old.

Dog Poop

Just another example of a dog crapping out chocolate ice cream. Looks like this dog also crapped all over its rear right leg.

Japanese Dogs

Dogs love wearing hats and picking up their own crap.

Dogs and Cowboys

I was trying to get a shot of this dog riding on its master. Kind of failed, but I got two really nice shots of men in cowboy hats.