Deep Fried Construction Company

When you think of kids, the first thing that pops into your head is probably "deep fried food" and "construction". So why did it take so long to combine the two? This is another one of those vending machine toys with five normal types and one special, mystery toy.

I got the backhoe, or whatever this is. I don't care that much about construction equipment because I'm not a child anymore.

And here's the paper showing all the possible toys. The secret fried construction equipment looks like a tank? So much fun!

Dog Bread

This is another vending machine toy called inu-pan, meaning dog bread. There are six types in all.

It says the intended age for this product is 15 and older. I think it's probably true that a lot of 14-year-olds just don't get dog bread, you know? And also they might choke on it or get weird ideas. I had to tell my 2-year-old, "No! Maybe I'll let you touch it in 13 years. We'll see how mature you are then. This isn't some kind of toy! This is dog bread! Adults only!"

Let's take a closer look at the six types of dog bread.

Obviously the top three are the really high quality bread dogs. The doughnut one is cool as well, but what's with two waffle dogs? They're not even in the waffles. I really think they just put in a couple crap ones so if you get one of them, you feel like you have to buy another.

And wouldn't you know it, just my luck, I got a waffle dog. I'd even say it's the worse of the two waffle dogs.

I suppose I might get another one if I find myself drunk and with extra coins at the grocery store.

The Statue of Too Much Liberty

This is toy you can get in those "gacha gacha" capsule vending machines. It basically translates to the Statue of Too Much Liberty. It's interesting to note that the Statue of Liberty in Japanese is 自由の女神 which directly translated means "goddess of freedom." Maybe we should change the name? Anyway, Japan is making a mockery of our blessed statue! Her toes! Her naked toes! She would never show the public those! And her thick short fingers! Those are completely different from the ones most adolescents fantasize about!!!

Okay, those of you that know me personally know that I am definitely not a pro-war type of hombre. But you also know that I'm very for isolated air strikes on foreign companies. Get off the can Obama! Oh, I'm over reacting? Look at the other statues!

 There's a "shy" one, a "laying down" one, and a "making a bridge" one!

And a "sculptor" one and an "inviting" one! Again, we've all had dreams about some of these, but you can't just openly depict it!!!

Oh, they also made a weird video:

She's flirting with that camera guy. She asks him what kind of women he likes. He likes tall, free women with noses that stick out. But, alas, he's married.