Mowmow Lulu Gyaban

This band is actually cool...


This song is called Hello!! Mr. Coke-High. I assumed the song was going to be about doing coke. The video seems to be more inspired by a hallucinogen, so then I thought that maybe they had never done coke, but thought the effect was something like this. It turns out the song is about being depressed after drinking a bunch of whiskey-cokes.

They're a pretty funny band. They write songs about panty thieves and nudists. I think their biggest hit is Yuki's Genes. They don't have a guitar, which usually means a band sucks, but they distort the keyboard enough to make a full sound. Also there's a lady in the band, which is nice. And the lead singer is the drummer, and he seems to often wear bicycle shorts (and nothing else) at their concerts. Also, they're not very famous even in Japan, so there's another plus if you're a hipster.

Fun Monkey Fact

And now you know how to start a fight with a monkey.

Handsome Man Drinks on Train

Oh ladies..., I don't see a ring on that finger, yet.

Momoiro Clover Z: Intense Space Symphony 7th Movement "Infinite Love"

Some people would argue that humans are the worst thing to ever happen to planet earth. You can get pretty depressed thinking about war, slavery, carrot top, etc. But then you see something like this, something so beautiful only an animal wouldn't be brought to tears. This is the music they were talking about in Bill and Ted (the music that creates world peace). It has everything: Scenes from E.T., pirate power rangers, spaceships, angelic voices, amazing dancing, guitar humping, Christmas lights, special effects from the 70s... everything.

Japanese Food Review #13: Matcha Kit Kat

In Japan, Kit Kat makes several flavors labeled as "adult sweetness." I'm not sure why they don't simply call them erotic Kit Kats. Most flavored Kit Kats are just white chocolate mixed with flavor. That's the case here today. I didn't think these were particularly good, but the Kit Kat scientists did a good job with the flavor. That's usually the case with these different Kit Kats. They're more impressive than tasty.

Ratings:
Gaybot: 4.5   I don't need to eat these again, but I'm glad I tried them before I die.
Girlbot: 1  I'm pretty sure it was just the mood she was in, but she took when bite and spit it out. She doesn't like the original Kit Kat, but apparently this was much worse.
Overall: 2.75

Kagome Theater

Kagome is doing a real service for the children of Japan here. Some of you might be skeptical and think that they're simply trying to sell juice, but I'm pretty sure they're trying to prepare kids for the terrifying acid trips they might one day have.

AKB 48 Promotes Liquid Vegetable Use

These girls are members of AKB 48, the most popular musical group in Japan right now. The girl on the bench, Atsuko Maeda, is the most popular member and is going to "graduate" from the group soon. Oh, she's on Team A of AKB. By the way, they make horrible music, or they sing horrible music that other people wrote. Anyway, Maeda is eating an unhealthy lunch, so the other members turn into "Vege-Rangers" and give her a Kagome juice box, which is supposed to have one days worth of vegetables and 30 types of vegetables in it (I'm sure it's super good for you). That is all.

Japanese Scientists Push Canned Tuna Technology to the Next Level

The scientists at the Hagoromo corporation have discovered a way to save us all roughly eight minutes a day. Let's walk through the normal human's morning: Wake up, open a can of tuna, reach in the cupboard, search and search for the canned corn, open a can of corn, mix and mix the corn and tuna.

Okay, now let us examine the world that Hagoromo has made possible: Wake up from excitement for breakfast, open ONE can!!!, enjoy life. Sounds good, doesn't it? Also, what a slogan, "Let's enjoy cooking with Seachicken and Vegetable." It kind of gets stuck in your head.

New Pachinko Machines!!!

Yes, that's right. Life is worth living again. Here's the ad I got in the mail...

Look at all the babes that love pachinko!!! I guess the big new machine is called girls spot...

I think this could be part of the perfect evening: Buy a pack of cigs, lose all my money playing girls spot, die from auto-erotic asphyxiation (AEA). When your doing well, that breast on the right will start shaking and the "girls" sign in girls spot starts kind of humping into the "spot" (so sometimes it says G-spot). Meanwhile, there are videos of girls taking baths and stuff. Literally the perfect pachinko machine.

Frozen Beer Foam

This has been out for awhile...
The really exciting news is that you can get a frozen beer foam maker for your home.

All you have to do is drink 96 cans of Kirin Ichiban by August 13th, peel the stickers off the cans, send them in, and... you'll be a real man, or chicks will love you, or something. Anyway, now when people ask me what I'm doing this summer, I don't have to say nothing.