Coolish Bra

Peach John has made yet another short film starring AKB48's Haruna Kojima. This one is entitled I Am a Cold Women and is an ad for their "Coolish Bra," a bra designed to keep you cool in the summer. Apparently wind can go through the fabric or something. I, personally, choose not to wear a bra during the summer. Kojima plays some sort of ice princess who kills a bunch of men (I know all the ladies reading this are already thinking, "I've gotta get that bra!") I have to say, this seems super unrealistic. Not even one of the frozen guys is pantless or doing a jerking off gesture or something? Kind of hard to believe. Anyway, it turns out she likes casual guys who don't tie up their bow ties. In the end, Little Red Riding Hood becomes the next ice princess... because she wasn't horrified by the murders? ...Buy... bra... coolish good?

Tsutaya and AKB48

Tsutaya is a movie and music rental chain in Japan (which still exist because there's nothing like Netflix here) and it has just turned 30-years-old! To celebrate the occasion, three members of AKB48 dressed up in sexy Santa outfits and exploded giant phallic symbols together. The lady with the reddish brown hair is Haruna Kojima, star of those magic bra commercials. The two other girls ask her how old she is and she replies with a haughty, "Eh?" Probably most of my readers don't understand why this is a funny joke, so let me try and explain it to you. You see, Ms. Kojima is a woman, and many women would like to keep their age a secret because this can be advantages when searching for potential mates. Women can only reproduce for a fixed period of time, and this fact has many ramifications on societies. One effect is that most males of the species prefer younger females (like when Sir Paul McCartney was banging that young one-legged chick). As it happens, Ms. Kojima appears to be young, but she is in fact 25.

I'll pause a moment while you rinse the vomit out of your mouth.

...

Suffice it to say, she'd be lucky to score with my grandfather, and he's been dead for ten years. That's why the joke in the commercial was so funny.

Dream Bra

Peach John and Haruna Kojima have teamed up once again to make another bra-themed short film. In their first artistic look at the world of wearing underwear, Haruna's dress was torn off on the red carpet... and she completely owned it! In this film, she dreams of wearing a magical bra that allows you to high five teddy bears and stuff. Then she awakes to find that she's a model wearing the same magic bra! Or does she wake up!?

Haruna is a member of AKB48. She used to be on team A, but now she's on team B (I'm sure you all understand what I'm talking about). Anyway, apparently it's against the group's rules to date a man, but it's okay to walk around Paris in your underwear.

White Boy Touches Boobs

This happened awhile ago, but I hadn't seen this Taiwanese style animation until now. Tomomi Kasai, and 21-year-old-member of AKB48, posed topless for a magazine shoot while a white child cupped her breasts. No problem, right? Wrong! Apparently child pornography laws protect not only Japanese children, but all children. Weird, right? You can't blame the magazine for not knowing all these strange, archaic laws. The magazine was pulled from the shelves and the police ultimately decided not to press charges (I'm guessing at least partially because it was the greatest day of the boy's life).

AKB 48's Minami Minegishi Spends Night with Man

AKB 48, the most popular band in Japan, apparently has a rule that you can't have a boyfriend, but Minami Minegishi, one of the most popular members, was caught leaving a man's house in the morning. She's 20 by the way. The band has demoted her to the lowest level. In response, she shaved her head and apologized on youtube. If you didn't know what had happened, you'd think the apology was for taking a crazy new drug and murdering her friends and family while under the influence. I've always said that The Beatles would have been a much better band if they had simply demoted John Lennon for sleeping with Yoko.

Handsome Man

 

This is an ad campaign for "Otokomae Smart Suit." Otokomae means "handsome man," so it makes perfect sense that two women wearing prostitute suits are photoed.

AKB 48 Promotes Liquid Vegetable Use

These girls are members of AKB 48, the most popular musical group in Japan right now. The girl on the bench, Atsuko Maeda, is the most popular member and is going to "graduate" from the group soon. Oh, she's on Team A of AKB. By the way, they make horrible music, or they sing horrible music that other people wrote. Anyway, Maeda is eating an unhealthy lunch, so the other members turn into "Vege-Rangers" and give her a Kagome juice box, which is supposed to have one days worth of vegetables and 30 types of vegetables in it (I'm sure it's super good for you). That is all.