Bringing a Little JC to Japan

The people of Japan are nice and all, but it does bother me that you almost never hear the phrase, "Praise JC for real, dawg!" or other such phrases much. That's all about to change because of this clever wordplay! That winged, crucified man will heal your back. Come on in. Yeah, just relax. That's it.

 BOOM! GOT YOU! YOU'RE GOING TO HEAVEN NOW, DAWG! It's just that simple.

WWJD

Maybe this ad campaign exists in America as well, but it's pretty cool to market these bracelets to people who have no idea what they are.

Oh, man! You thought the original iPod was active and cool? Wait until you get a load of lord and savior Jesus Christ!

Yeah, this ancient religion is totally fresh like cowboy hats and neon wrist bands.

Amazing Family Mart Spring Festival

I've already written extensively on the subject of Ultraman being a modern day Jesus. It seems Family Mart, a popular convenience store, has decided to use Ultraman in a sort of Easter substitute celebration.

Editor's note: Family Mart has deleted the commercial from youtube. Here is another monster thing they made if you really need to see a convenience store monster.



You see, those monsters are demonstrating that if you spend over ¥700, you get a raffle ticket and can win a great prize. That crazy monster gets his claw stuck in the box! Religion can be fun after all!

Lord

A: What do you want to name our new technology center?
B: I don't know. I was thinking "Jesus Christ Is My Lord and Savior" has a nice ring.
A: That does seem like an appropriate name for a technology center, but I don't think it would fit on a business card.
B: Oh, peanut farts!

Christ Matsuri

This might come as a shock to a lot of you, but it turns out the Mormons got it wrong! The truth is that Jesus didn't die in Judea. His kid brother Isukiri took his place when they tried to crucify him. Then Jesus fled to Japan, specifically to Aomori-ken. He lived to be 106. In 1935, his tomb was discovered. 29 years later the first Christ Matsuri (matsuri=festival) was held. You can see the cool dance they do at it above. It just screams Jesus, doesn't it? The other cross is there for Isukiri, but he's not actually buried there (unlike Jesus who is for sure buried there).

First Birthday

Happy birthday Jesus! I mean Gaybot Times.

The Gaybot Times is celebrating it's first birthday today. It's a really special day. Basically I've started drinking earlier than normal in an attempt to cry less (it's not working). Otherwise, it's like most other days. I thought we'd take a look at how you, the readers, have discovered the wealth of knowledge that is The Gaybot Times. Here are my favorite google searches people have done that resulted in finding this site.

Honorable Mentions:
*cool ranch dorito taco: This was actually searched for at least 5 times, though I've never written about it.
*kyary pamyu pamyu is gay: This, again, was searched for several times. I'm not sure if it's lesbians hoping she is gay, others just wondering, or people looking for bad reviews of Kyary.
*"handsome man" train: I'll be honest, I can't remember everything I search for, and this could very well have been me.

The Top 5:
5. christmas sex: This was searched for more than anything else on the list. It's good to know that several people with some sort of a Santa fetish visited the site.
4. squirrels with bow ties: This is one of the few things that I actually wrote about. Apparently me and at least five other people in the world are super into this new style.
3. penis shaped trees: Hey, what else are you going to do on a Tuesday morning other that search for dick trees?
2. Japan gay dance evolution: I know very little about this subject, but it sounds fascinating!
1. how to make invader sex machine: I'd like to apologize to this reader for not being of any help, but I'd like to thank you for teaching me that the invader sex machine exists!

Ultraman: A Modern Day Jesus/Santa?

For some reason the Japanese don't follow the tradition of forcing children to sit on a "magic" stranger's lap, but I did come across this Christmas Eve miracle. Ultraman made a visit to a toy store and allowed children to be photographed with him.

Jesus Hat

This hat is cool because it says both, "Jesus loves you!" and, "I have no idea what Christianity is," at the same time.