Hounen Matsuri

I went to Hounen Matsuri yesterday. It's a festival with rituals performed hoping for a good year of farming and fertility. It's so nice to see traditional, real Japan.

It's a great time to enjoy treats that you can only find in Japan, like these special chocolate bananas with marshmallows attached.

Contrary to popular belief, the pink and brown ones are roughly the same size.

Praying for a child has never tasted so sweet... except for this one night involving chocolate syrup and handcuffs.

I just love religions! I was so moved that I vomited in the middle of the crowd. Talk about the holy spirit. Oh, also there was unlimited free sake.

Christ Matsuri

This might come as a shock to a lot of you, but it turns out the Mormons got it wrong! The truth is that Jesus didn't die in Judea. His kid brother Isukiri took his place when they tried to crucify him. Then Jesus fled to Japan, specifically to Aomori-ken. He lived to be 106. In 1935, his tomb was discovered. 29 years later the first Christ Matsuri (matsuri=festival) was held. You can see the cool dance they do at it above. It just screams Jesus, doesn't it? The other cross is there for Isukiri, but he's not actually buried there (unlike Jesus who is for sure buried there).

Nikumaki Onigiri

Japanese Food Review #44

 Nikumaki means wrapped in meat, and onigiri is a rice ball, so this is just rice wrapped in meat and covered in tare sauce. The meat is pork, so it's pretty close to eating bacon and rice together. You can find this snack at festivals and big rest stops on the sides of highways. This particular stand was up for hanami (flower viewing).

Ratings:
Gaybot: 7  It was good, but wasn't worth the 400 yen it cost.
Girlbot: 8  She would normally give Nikumaki Onigiri a 9, but I guess the rice was too dry (looks very moist in the photo) and the meat was too oily.
Overall: 7.5 

Dick Festival

If you're free and in Aichi Prefecture this Friday, it's probably worth your time to head over to Tagata Shrine and check out the Hounen Matsuri, or penis festival. Basically people rub a bunch of dicks and then some guys carrying around a freshly carved, huge, wooden dick. It's supposed to assure a good harvest. The sky is a man and the earth is a woman... so... yeah, a big wooden dick. Ladies, don't feel left out. There's also a large vagina rock nearby. It is also said to help those with fertility problems, but it seems most people go there to laugh at a giant wooden dick. There are a bunch of stands where you can buy penis shaped candy, so it's kind of like a bachelorette party except way more spiritual and stuff. Here's a video somebody made five years ago:

Japanese Food Review #39: Ramen Burger

Ramen burgers are rare even in Japan. They are made by forming cooked ramen into patties, grilling them, and putting the stuff you'd normally find in a bowl of ramen in the middle. The middle of this burger consisted of half a hard-boiled egg, a chunk of pork, green onions, benishoga (red ginger), and corn. Then you could select a sauce, just like with ramen. The choices were salt, soy sauce, or tonkotsu. I chose soy sauce.

You eat the burgers with a paper wrapper like s rice burger. It tasted like a cross between a bowl of ramen and yakisoba. It's not a bad deal at 300 yen.

Ratings:
Gaybot: 7  Maybe this rating is a little high. It's not something I would want to eat all the time, but if you see it, you should definitely try it.
Girlbot: 8  She didn't like how soft the noodles were. If they were crispier, she would have given it a higher score. (I liked that the noodles were soft like a bowl of ramen.)
Overall: 7.5

Katchin Candy Festival

Today was かっちん玉祭　(Katchin Ball Festival) at Rokusho Shrine in Nagoya. Katchin ball candy is a lucky candy made only for this festival.

It's just hard candy wrapped around a bamboo stick, but it is said to help you have a safe childbirth, to raise children, and, for safe measure, to ward off evil. I think it can also help your kid get diabetes. The small ones are only 200 yen, but if you want to go really crazy, you can spend 1000 yen on the big ones. The candy is said to look like an umbilical cord, so think about that while you're sucking on it.