Linny-kun

Maybe you dudez know that a mag-lev train is being built that will someday connect Tokyo and Osaka. There is still a debate about whether the train should go through Kyoto or Nara. One proud citizen of Nara has taken it upon himself to... I don't know what he thinks he's doing really, but he wants the train to go through Nara.

He has constructed an amazing costume and calls himself Linny-kun (the train is known as "linear" in Japanese). For some reason he's still only an unofficial character.

ネットで話題の奈良市・非公認ゆるキャラ「リニー君」 “中の人”が明かす誕生秘話 #ゆるキャラ #地域 http://t.co/dLIL4c5E7v pic.twitter.com/VqNqm16Ql7

— クランクイン！ (@crank_in_net) September 21, 2015

It's hard not to get super pumped up when you see a maybe dead train man with a human body but no face for some reason. But Linny-kun goes the extra mile to get the kids excited.

奈良の非公認ゆるキャラ「リニー君」が新しすぎてついていけないと話題に！ http://t.co/B3x7M38Xii #ゆるキャラ #リニー君 pic.twitter.com/57auGc0ggk

— Wha2UP!? (@Wha2Up) August 27, 2015

I guess he gives any kid who wants one a "ride". He also gave an especially lucky soccer player one.

残り６試合、全勝すれば可能性は十分にある。そしてホームもあと３試合全て3000人目指そう。Ｊにむかってリニー君にライド・オン！！ pic.twitter.com/ew2m4WUjgR

— ファンタジスタ・シンジ (@shinji826) September 22, 2015

Oh, I said he doesn't have a face, but, I don't know, he has the face of death or whatever.

リニー君も登場！ 奈良クラブvs横河武蔵野FCは13時キックオフ！ pic.twitter.com/qSuX5p6MZh

— 奈良市　スポーツ振興課 (@naracity_sports) September 20, 2015

Recently he sported a nice, new, yellow outfit.

【みんなの経済新聞】 奈良市非公認キャラ「リニー君」大忙し　黄色のドクターリニー君も初登場 http://t.co/ELqjwg3ZJu #速報 pic.twitter.com/XaOcNfE15m

— ニュース速報 (@news_sokuhou) September 27, 2015

Apparently he wore this in Nara Park where tame deer roam. He said, "The deer run away from the white costume, but they're attracted to the yellow." What a wise man. When asked about how he felt about pushing his face repeatedly into the ground of a park covered in deer crap, he said, "I'm used to it."

Source: Nara Keizai Shimbun

Evil Genius Victimizes Cake Shops

Check out this goldmine.

An unemployed 45 year old woman was arrested in Itami, Hyogo under the suspicion that she committed fraud... the most delicious kind of fraud. Police say she called 1,200 stores, most of which were cake shops, and asked for a refund saying things like, "There's a hair in my cake."

They say she made around 7000 calls to stores in 30 different cities all over the country between February and July of this year. She also called directory assistance about 4,650 times because she doesn't know that the internet exists.

Of course we all fantasize about finding a hair in our food so we get a refund and then still eat the entire dish, but who, other than maybe some 1930s cartoon character, would think to lie about it?

One can safely assume that she's rolling in dough (wink, wink, bread dough that is... because she called bakeries and stuff). The police have already told the press that one bread shop gave her ¥1085, and she swindled another cake shop into coughing up ¥356. When you're getting those kind of pay days, you can't really blame her for breaking the law.

Source: Yomiuri Online

Playboy Club

A lot of people might think that the great Hugh Hefner could sue a company for doing this, but I tend to think he doesn't have much of a case. Clearly different bunnies. This one's ear is bent down a little. Completely changes the whole vibe.

Cardboard Artist

I guess cardboard art is a thing because Monami Ohno says, "I am a Japanese cardboard artists." She certainly is one of the better cardboard artists, at least in Japan. You can follow her on twitter (@mbrid02) or instagram (mbrid01). Or you can look at some of her cardboard artworks below and then forget of her existence.

@mbrid02 ダンボールR2-D2の足や顔ははめているだけなので、向きを調整できます♪ pic.twitter.com/zEUnpMZUQb

— 大野萌菜美@ダンボール塾 (@mbrid02) September 18, 2015

スターウォーズダンボールAT-ST！ pic.twitter.com/ctUmeW9PDI

— 大野萌菜美@ダンボール塾 (@mbrid02) August 19, 2015

ダンボールアオウミガメ。ばっちり梱包完了です！ 台風が去り次第、台湾のクライアントの方へ旅立ちます。 Cardboard green turtle. To Taiwan. https://t.co/Vvl7AbFgPU pic.twitter.com/yZKgbnJhGX

— 大野萌菜美@ダンボール塾 (@mbrid02) August 20, 2015

狭い部屋。ダンボール作品をダンボール箱に入れて積み上げてます！ #ダンボール Cardboard Art https://t.co/OqijGy8j3k pic.twitter.com/wlPvgj3whG

— 大野萌菜美@ダンボール塾 (@mbrid02) July 29, 2015

A photo posted by Monami Ohno (@mbrid01) on Sep 22, 2015 at 9:58pm PDT

A photo posted by Monami Ohno (@mbrid01) on Nov 18, 2014 at 2:44am PST

A photo posted by Monami Ohno (@mbrid01) on Jul 22, 2015 at 4:20am PDT

Salted Salmon Soft Candy

Japanese Food Review #108

This candy is called Puccho. It's a soft candy with little chunks of gummy candy in it. I think it's a good brand as far as major soft candy brands go. This, obviously, looks repulsive. It's the first time I considered only taking a picture instead of doing a proper review, but I know there are readers out there that want to know if this is simply horrible or the worst snack of all time.

This diagram explains that there are gummies inside of a salted salmon flavored soft candy. Then that red thing in the middle represents real salmon flakes. What the hell.

I have to say, I do like the look of the candy.

I ate only the edge of one at first. It didn't really taste fishy at all. It kind of tasted lemony. I ate a little more and gave the rest to Girlbot. She agreed and was disappointed that it wasn't the worst thing in the history of the world. Then I ate a whole one... and there were several large chunks of salmon mixed with the lemony candy. It was disgusting.

Gaybot: 1  I have to say, I like the look of the candy and the package. I wish it didn't have fish inside of it.
Girlbot:  1
Overall: 1

It's tied for fourth worst snack reviewed on this site. Probably about right.

Garbage Animals

I found out that shoving trash in monkey mouths is technically illegal the hard way. Trust me on this, looping a track of monkey noises on your phone and hanging out in this park just makes more sense. Stay safe, guyz.

Military Recruitment

This is a Japan Self-Defense Forces recruitment poster. I wish I were Japanese so I could join and meet all those busty blonds.

Also of note: whoever owns this building and allowed this poster to be put up also allowed a "no war!" sign to be placed right below it.

Pic of the Day

アクシデント Wow that's gold medals

A photo posted by Yohei Morita (@koguhito) on Sep 15, 2015 at 5:56pm PDT

The Marketing of Farming

I often see pictures of farmers next to the product they supposedly produced. I guess it's meant to make you feel better seeing the person you're helping support, or something? Or you can see that some corporate robot or minorities weren't in charge of feeding the cow that you will soon consume?

Anyway, they must have done some market research that says the "I just saw the family dog get run over by a semi this morning" face moves the most product, because they usually look like this.

Star Wars Fan Appreciation Flight!!!!

I wrote about ANA making an R2-D2 airplane awhile back, but we can finally see the other two aircrafts that aren't as cool!



A more exciting development is that there will be a fan appreciation flight where employees are forced to look like character's from Star Wars/idiots!

The Fan Appreciation flight for R2-D2™ ANA JET will take off in Oct at Tokyo Haneda→http://t.co/speNH6APhW #STARWARS pic.twitter.com/saULd2CqSJ

— All Nippon Airways (@FlyANA_official) August 19, 2015

I don't know why, but I always feel safer when the pilots are wearing a Halloween costume. And what man hasn't dreamt of forcing a Japanese version of Princess Leia to explain that she can no longer serve you alcohol because you're out of control.

The Fan Appreciation flight for R2-D2™ ANA JET will take off in Oct at Tokyo Haneda→http://t.co/speNH6APhW #STARWARS pic.twitter.com/0cYXEedsXY

— All Nippon Airways (@FlyANA_official) August 19, 2015

And look! The cleaning staff can barely see! Let's make them walk up and down some stairs some more.

Tofu Ice Cream

Japanese Food Review #107

This is a snack I get every time I visit Ise Shrine. The store also sells tofu doughnuts. Here are some signs outside the store if you ever find yourself there.

Soy milk ice cream is not all that unusual, but I believe actual tofu ice cream is fairly rare. The sign says that 55% of the ice cream is a combination of tofu and soy milk. The tofu taste really comes through, but it is still sweet and it's the fresh, high quality tofu taste you might not be used to in other countries.

This sign says you should hold the cone up straight because the ice cream melts easily. I usually turn my cone upside down and then scream at the staff if any ice cream touches the floor, so I think they may have made this sign especially for me.

Ratings:
Gaybot: 8.5  I don't know if I would want it all the time, but I do enjoy the ritual of getting it when I find myself in Ise.
Girlbot: 10  She notes that people who don't like tofu will hate this ice cream.
Overall: 9.25

This snack is now in first place in the overall snack standings!!!!!!!!

Another Lovely Cup Noodle CM

The marketing folks at Cup Noodle should be in line for some sort of award. Really amazing stuff. This is another of their "Stay Hot" commercials and is the "love" edition. It again takes a look into the mind of a human that has just tasted their brand of instant noodles.

I think this commercial is fairly easy to understand. She turns into a giant and wears her building, dances with a giant shrimp, and falls in love with a noodle man. The only part that you may not get is that those yellow mushrooms are symbolizing a "world of eggs".

The Sex Picture Book

I guess there's a picture book to teach kids about sex in Japan.

｢せっくすのえほん｣ならしいｗ RT @himuka_523: #この画像がヤバいと思ったらRT　※激エロ注意！ pic.twitter.com/dEKRgf5M

— どみにゃん (@dominyant) February 3, 2012

I never realized that the penis is just the nose of your crotch face. I finally get what sex is now.

If you care, the text reads:

Dad's penis goes in mom's vagina. Sperm climb up to the womb. Many, many sperm jump out. This is called "sex" in English.

This book is called せっくすのえほん (sekkusu no ehon) and is said to be available in many public libraries in the kids corner. So go to the kids corner and start asking people where the sex books are when you have a chance. You won't be sorry.

Erotic Radishes

These are two daikons (large radishes found in Asia) made to look like man and lady parts. They're made in used in Matsusaka, Mie every February. The radishes are paraded around a small village as part of a ritual praying for a good harvest.

Pluky

This is a cooler. It doesn't really blow that much refreshing wind.

Alpaca Wedding

It's no secret that a lot of men aren't very excited about wedding ceremonies. That's all about to change because every red-blooded male's dream has finally come true in Tochigi, Japan: a wedding with an alpaca for a ring bearer!!! Can you believe it, guyz! Weddings ain't just for ladies anymore!

I know what you're all thinking, and the answer is yes, they force the alpaca to wear a red bow tie!

アルパカ結婚式 in エピナール那須♡ こんな結婚式も悪くない！ 皆さんもどーですか？ リツイートお願いします‼︎ pic.twitter.com/RntWf8OP0K

— CHIAKI (@minichua_chi_ko) August 17, 2015

“@PECO_japan: 【ニュース】アルパカと一緒に結婚式ができる日本の結婚式が世界中で話題！ http://t.co/qlm3oWaqtd pic.twitter.com/8vxzgBL9CY”

— クリスチャン デブタン (@Uchihara_) August 11, 2015

That alpaca is just loving life! Now you're probably all wondering about touching policies. I couldn't find much about this, and the hotel didn't respond to my English screams over the phone, but it does appear that sandwiching the alpaca with bride and groom kisses is encouraged!

モフモフのアルパカがウェディングをお祝い！那須のリゾートホテルの結婚式サービスにアルパカ登場｜栃木県 那須郡那須町｜「Webマガジン コロカル」 http://t.co/VMvBnaCnju pic.twitter.com/dPaz3w43Yh

— ミニヤギのしろぺん@LINEスタンプ発売 (@shiropen) August 18, 2015

モフモフのアルパカがウェディングをお祝い！那須のリゾートホテルの結婚式サービスにアルパカ登場｜栃木県 那須郡那須町｜「Webマガジン コロカル」 http://t.co/VMvBnaCnju pic.twitter.com/dPaz3w43Yh

— ミニヤギのしろぺん@LINEスタンプ発売 (@shiropen) August 18, 2015

栃木では結婚式にアルパカが参列するらしいwwwwwww http://t.co/QsxILnmdnI pic.twitter.com/c3GWT1c9Rn

— 海外の反応 (@kaigai_react) July 17, 2015

I'm sure a lot of you are relieved to see that cross up there. Yes, it's a wedding Jesus would most certainly approve of. The wedding will only set you back ¥488,000 or a little over $4000.

Tonikaku Akarui Yasumura

This guy has been on TV lately doing poses that make him appear to be naked even though he's wearing underwear. It's a pretty good thing to be famous for. In this video he introduces an American pose and speaks English perfectly.

Here's some other poses:

ヘイ！！ RT @sakuramana0000: ヘイッ！（三人ver） pic.twitter.com/vudHicV1Uz

— とにかく明るい安村 (@yasudebu) April 1, 2015

ありがとうございます！イェーイ！ RT @owarai_natalie: とに安プレゼンツ「とにかく楽しいピンネタライブ」にR-1王者ら集結 http://t.co/Wum8UwyoD8 pic.twitter.com/H9U74jiSXv

— とにかく明るい安村 (@yasudebu) March 9, 2015

I'm usually wrong about these things, but I predict this guy is going to be around forever. There's just some much to do with this joke. Can't see it getting old.