The Sex Picture Book

I guess there's a picture book to teach kids about sex in Japan.

｢せっくすのえほん｣ならしいｗ RT @himuka_523: #この画像がヤバいと思ったらRT　※激エロ注意！ pic.twitter.com/dEKRgf5M

— どみにゃん (@dominyant) February 3, 2012

I never realized that the penis is just the nose of your crotch face. I finally get what sex is now.

If you care, the text reads:

Dad's penis goes in mom's vagina. Sperm climb up to the womb. Many, many sperm jump out. This is called "sex" in English.

This book is called せっくすのえほん (sekkusu no ehon) and is said to be available in many public libraries in the kids corner. So go to the kids corner and start asking people where the sex books are when you have a chance. You won't be sorry.

Toto Kids

Toto is a company that makes toilets. If you check out http://www.toto.co.jp and scroll down a bit, you'll see a "Toto Kids" icon to click on. It's all in Japanese and is very fun. There's a video game where you try to get poop in the toilet. Lot's of other stuff as well. You can get pages to color and wallpaper as well. Here are a few of the pages:

Kids love jumping up a rainbow into the arms of a poop... far above a toilet factory, or something.

Always have to let the poop man put the final cherry on the Christmas cake.

Anpanman Shoes

Most shoes for kids in Japan are super shiny and insanely decorated.

Mr. Toilet

O-toire-san, or Mr. Toilet, is a delightful book for young Japanese children with everyone's favorite mustached toilet. There are so many wonderful characters like the urinating squirrel, the pooping snake, the turtles that do morning exercises with Mr. Toilet, and, of course, the young, diaper-wearing giraffe. Your kids will love all the grunts and groans and onomatopoeic sounds the excrements make! Also, there are so many great puns. What 1-year-old doesn't love a large amount of puns?

Oh, and SPOILER ALERT!!!!:

The baby giraffe does end up pooping in Mr. Toilet. The poop, which is at least as large as the giraffe's body, yells, "Hello!" when he comes out. Is is sexist of me to assume the poop is a he? Sorry ladies.

Crab Stairs

Mayor: As you know, we only have $5000 to make the new playground, but you have full control of the money. Could you come up with a proposal by the end of the month?
Playground designer: Would it blow your mind if I made a proposal at this very moment?
Mayor: Wh-wh-whaaaat?!
Playground designer: Get this... Crab stairs.
Mayor: (A single tear rolls down his cheek.) Surely you are simply a vessel an angel is using to speak.

El Fin

Happy Children's Day

May 5th is Children's Day in Japan. It used to be Boy's Day, so all the decorations are male oriented. Here are some photos for your viewing pleasure.

The most prominent decorations are flying carp, or koinobori. They're supposed to make your child become a great person and are flying all over Japan well before Children's Day.

Samurai armor is also often displayed in houses with boys. Here's some armor girlbot's grandfather purchased many years ago.

It's incredibly expensive and takes up a lot of space, so if you're poor, you can buy a small cardboard one.

And it's good to know that some traditions are the same in every culture. For instance, we can all agree that children love dolls wearing helmets riding on giant carp.

Swastika

You've gotta admit, it's way easier to raise your child as a Nazi sympathizer in Japan.