Salted Salmon Soft Candy

Japanese Food Review #108

This candy is called Puccho. It's a soft candy with little chunks of gummy candy in it. I think it's a good brand as far as major soft candy brands go. This, obviously, looks repulsive. It's the first time I considered only taking a picture instead of doing a proper review, but I know there are readers out there that want to know if this is simply horrible or the worst snack of all time.

This diagram explains that there are gummies inside of a salted salmon flavored soft candy. Then that red thing in the middle represents real salmon flakes. What the hell.

I have to say, I do like the look of the candy.

I ate only the edge of one at first. It didn't really taste fishy at all. It kind of tasted lemony. I ate a little more and gave the rest to Girlbot. She agreed and was disappointed that it wasn't the worst thing in the history of the world. Then I ate a whole one... and there were several large chunks of salmon mixed with the lemony candy. It was disgusting.

Gaybot: 1  I have to say, I like the look of the candy and the package. I wish it didn't have fish inside of it.
Girlbot:  1
Overall: 1

It's tied for fourth worst snack reviewed on this site. Probably about right.

Chupa Chups

It's getting more and more difficult for corporations to successfully push sugar on a public that is increasingly aware of the dangers of diabetes and other health problems. Still, Chupa Chups does make a rather convincing argument for at least giving them a try:

Ichimi Kit Kat

Japanese Food Review #97

Ichimi means "one flavor" and is just red chili pepper. It's a very common seasoning in Japan. Kit Kat often comes out with limited (time-wise) editions of flavors, but they also have flavors that can only be purchased in certain parts of Japan. They make good souvenirs, I guess. This one is from Shinshu, which is the old name for Nagano. Apparently they like chili peppers there.

The chocolate was darker than that of a normal Kit Kat, which I consider a good thing. At first, I couldn't taste any spice at all. It was only after swallowing that the spice hit me. (That's what she said?) It wasn't super spicy, but some heat was certainly there. It kind of reminded me of some chocolate I've had in America, like Tobasco Spicy Chocolate, but not nearly as spicy.

Ratings:
Gaybot: 6  It's interesting enough, but I don't feel the need to head to Nagano for more.
Girlbot: 6  She said it was better than she was expecting.
Overall: 6

There you have it. 666 the sign of the devil! Great work Kit Kat.

Candy Pizza

Candy Beer

This drink looks like beer and tastes like cola. The mug shows the Nohara family from Crayon Shin Chan, a popular manga and anime in Japan. It's called Namaiki Drink, meaning cheeky drink, and it's sold at most grocery stores. It's a great way to encourage 2-year-olds to develop a drinking problem.

Orion's Cocoa Cigarettes

Japanese Food Review #54

 I loved smoking candy cigarettes as a kid. I liked how they tasted, but I liked the idea of tricking adults into believing a 7-year-old was openly smoking even more. I remember being very disappointed when they stopped coloring the tips of the cigarettes red. When they disappeared from most stores, I was a little sad, but I'd already moved on to rolling fake joints and walking around town. Most grocery stores still carry candy cigarettes in Japan. They're called Cocoa Cigarettes, but they don't taste like chocolate at all (Girlbot says she can taste a hint of it). They remind me of the stick in Fun Dip perhaps crossed with Necco Wafers. I think I might know too much about old candy.

Gaybot: 7 This is a little high, but I still like fake smoking.
Girlbot: 5 She says the flavor is very good, but they're too hard.
Overall: 6

Japanese Food Review #42: Butter Ball

The folks at Butter Ball are marketing geniuses. They know that when people see orange, red, yellow, green, white and black together, they just need to have it. Also they know that people waste a lot of their time rolling butter into little balls before consuming it. Despite boasting that this product is made from fresh butter and cream, it doesn't really taste like butter at all. It actually tastes like lemon shortcake, but that flavor must sound less appealing than "butter" to the Japanese. The front of the bag doesn't even mention that there is a lemon flavor involved for some reason. I have to say, "I love sucking on a butter ball," just rolls of the tongue better than "a lemon shortcake ball."

Ratings:
Gaybot: 8   I was pleasantly surprised. I thought it would be awful, but now I can truly say, if you only try one butter flavored hard candy this year, this should probably be the one.
Girlbot: 7  The were better than she thought they'd be.