Doughnut Exercise

Japan is getting super good at tricking children into making videos that they will later be horribly ashamed of.

Japanese Food Review #20: Minced Meat Cutlet Snack

Menchi Katsu comes from the words "mince" and "cutlet" and is basically deep-fried ground meat. It is usually pork and usually delicious. This snack has tried to capture that flavor. The snack is quite small, but is shaped like actual deep-fried ground meat, so it's incredibly cute, or something.

Ratings:
Gaybot: 5.5    I do like these, but kind of in the way I like Cookie Crisp. It's fine and appears to be miniature food, but I can't help wishing that it really was just a small version of the original.
Girlbot: 3.5   She said they were good, but she doesn't like menchi katsu. So, again, some sort of strange penalty is being applied here.
Overall: 4.5

Super Complicated Bar Rules

I thought this was supposed to be a free country.

Fences

This dude is telling us not to climb this fence or throw things over it. Do you think anyone has ever been about to throw something, saw this sign, and thought better of it? I think it could only encourage young rapscallions. As a teenager in America, I'm almost certain I would have thrown a couch over.

Player

Chicks dig windshields.

Japanese Ritz

I think everyone knows that nothing goes together better than a plate of plain Ritz and black coffee, but did you know that there are other ways to enjoy this delicious cracker? I know Ritz offers recipes in America, but those usually involve cheese. In Japan, at least on this box, they are super into putting whipped cream on their crackers. Recipe 1 is whipped cream, raisins, 1 grape (not enough dishes pair grapes and raisins, I find), and a mint leaf. Recipe two is whipped cream, apricot, and a single pistachio. I don't know if you're expected to eat these in a single bite or what. Recipe 3 is whipped cream mixed with chocolate syrup (to sweeten it up a bit), and a chocolate coffee bean? I'm not sure I've got that one right. For those of you who like dips, try this peanut butter, cream, and honey dip. I should point out that there are only two types of crackers at most super markets (the other being saltines) and they are sold in the cookie isle.

Stupid Slice Organization

 

SO. is of course short for Stupid Slice Organization. You might be thinking, "What could this organization possibly be doing?" Well, they sell cell phones starting at 0 yen, so, actually, it makes perfect sense. I bet you feel like an idiot.

Special thanks to Tomboy for supplying the photo.

Japanese Gum Review #1: Coffee Jelly

Coffee Jelly is pretty much coffee flavored Jello and is often served mixed with sweet milk. Seems like a horrible idea for a gum flavor. When I opened the pack, I noticed it smelled minty. That's why there's mint leaves on the pack, I guess. This made it seem like an even worse idea for a flavor. Somehow, though, this wasn't all that bad of a gum. Granted, I'll never buy this again, but I did make it through the pack.

Ratings:
Gaybot: 4
Girlbot: 4
Overall: 4

Boss Coffee

Human A: I don't know what it is, but every time I take a sip of this coffee I get this image of a cute cowgirl shaving her beard, you know?
Human B: Interesting.
Human A: Yeah, and for some reason it's a man's hand that's shaving her.
Human B: Dude..., I think you just came up with our new ad campaign!
Human A: Wow! High fives all around!
Human B: No, dude, you can't say high fives all around when there's only two people in the room.
Human A: Oh, okay. Sorry about that.
Human B: No, dude, say, "High five!"
Human A: High five?
Human B: That's what I'm talkin' 'bout!
The two do a decent high five. Neither of them put much power into it, but they do make solid contact.

Beaches in Japan

 

Is putting your child in a rat ball catching on in other countries yet? I think I would have loved this as a kid for a couple of minutes and then been super disappointed that it's nothing like American Gladiator's Atlasphere.

Mottimo pasta

You're preaching to the choir, Mottimo pasta.

A Glutton Club

Is it just me or is this super racist against Americans?

Be Shot!

 

I guess it's a better slogan than "Kill Dogs!"

Salty Watermelon Pepsi

The problem with America's so-called "refreshing" summer drinks is that they're not nearly salty enough. This has no cola flavor at all, so I'm not sure why it has the Pepsi symbol. Also, it doesn't really seem salty, but it's not all that sweet. Watermelon flavored soda water, I guess.

Two Balloons

Japanese literature is full of so many trippy metaphors. I'm pretty sure the balloons represent children, but, at the same time, they seem to represent both the good and evil ever-present in the world.

Depressed Middle-Aged Man

 

He might also be going as Wolverines suicidal uncle.

The SoftBank Robot

SoftBank is a cell phone company in Japan. I'm unaware of the existence of a SoftBank robot, so either this guy is super into both SoftBank and robots that keep their mouths wide open, or SoftBank figured out a really bad way to get publicity.

Pretending to be Drunk

I don't think that's actually beer, but she does a good job of appearing drunk.

I like that the two drunk characters seem like the happiest people there.

Hitler Jr.

It's cute how he holds his arms just like his dad... Wait, maybe I'm thinking about a T-Rex.

Horse Soldier Man

The key is walking like a sleeping vampire.

Japanese Food Review #19: Okonomiyaki Curls

Curls boast that they are a "non-fry" snack, so they are likely incredibly healthy. They're like puffy cheese curls in America and come in several flavors. Normally, I would choose curry flavor, but this limited addition flavor is out for the summer. Okonomiyaki basically means "as you like it cooked." That's a horrible translation. It has an egg and flour base, and you can add anything you want (so a little like an omelette). Then it is smothered with okonomiyaki sauce (which tastes like most brown sauces in Japan) and topped with fish flakes (like most things in Japan). These curls taste like the sauce, and because okonomiyaki sauce and takoyaki sauce are nearly identical, these are very similar to the umaibo I like. Really fascinating stuff.

Ratings:
Gaybot: 7  Not as good as the takoyaki umaibo (the flavor is not nearly as strong) but still good.
Girlbot: 7  She said she had to give it a 7 because she couldn't stop eating them. I think she ate only 2 more curls after making that statement.
Overall: 7

Mr. Buddha

I'm thinking of going as Mr. Jesus next year.

World Cosplay Summit 2012

At the cosplay summit, contestants compete to see who is the best costume player, or, in other words, who is the best person in the world. Then you get to go in a parade and a lot of people laugh and take pictures of you. It's pretty awesome. I took a lot of photos and might put some more up later, but here are a few:

 

Mr. Handsome (actually, I'm not sure about all these names).

Mr. Pepsi (does this guy not have the perfect body for this outfit?)

Treasure Box Machine

Okay, check back soon for some other good ones. The best is yet to come??!!

Ramen Ghost

It appears the ghost of Hulk Hogan is on the loose in Japan again.

Drinking Outside

Someone had an awesome time last night.

A guy's watch was broken, and he forgot that cell phones can tell time, so he brought a clock to look at while he drank on the corner? Or, a drunk guy found a clock.

Save The Child

I think we're all thinking the same thing right now: This shirt better be about baby Jesus.

Shelves of the Future

Don't you hate how almost all of your shelves are inanimate?

Baby Cartoon Tiger Drinks in Public

I guess America and Japan aren't so different after all.