Taco Bell Access Rap

Taco Bell is opening up in Tokyo!!! In honor of the event, they decided to remind us once again that the only thing "más good" than fake, cheap Mexican food, is fake, cheap rap about fake, cheap Mexican food. The rap starts by explaining how to get to the store. They magically find a way to make what should be a seven second explanation take two minutes. And then the beautiful chorus:

Tacos, burrito, crunch wrap,
Nachos, fajita, quesadilla, 
Japan original taco rice.
ima sugu choudai!(Give it to me right away)
Taco Bell choudai! (Give me Taco Bell)

The Gyojah Boyz (Pilgrim Boyz?) have really outdone themselves this time. Fun note, one of the MC's is called MC 卍. Yes, it's a backwards buddhist swastika, but still fun.

Mustard Chips (No Spice No Life)

Japanese Food Review #92

You're likely all aware that my mantra is, "No spice no life." It's pretty much running through my head all the time, and, yes, on more than a few occasions I've ended up screaming it at an unsuspecting stranger. Well, imagine my surprise to find it written on a bag of chips! That wasn't the first thing I noticed, however. That would be that young, sweaty, Hitler-like character clutching some mustard. This bag has everything you'd want.

It's made by Calbee, which, if you wrote out the Japanese in English, would actually be Karubii. But here on this bag in giant writing it reads, "Karabii." This is because they've combined "karaii" (spicy) with Calbee. It's super witty and fun.

Ratings:
Gaybot: 8  This may be a little high, but they were very good. They really tasted like spicy mustard and were still that same high-quality Calbee chip.
Girlbot: 7 She said they were better than she had expected.
Overall: 7.5

Cat Killer Caught

Has Hitler the cat gained the ability to control feeble-minded humans?

Earlier this summer it became apparent that a cat serial killer was on the loose in the Ota Ward of Tokyo. Police were finding many dead cats and cat food laced with poison. It reminded me of when Johnnie Walker killed all those cats to make a flute out of their souls and almost reported the story, but I realized no one would know what I'm talking about. Also, it's not a very uplifting story and adds no value to your life.

Anyway, they caught the killer. If you want to read a real English write up, here's the Asahi Shimbun's one.

Some highlights from around the web:

*The police found the 33-year-old killer around 2:30am in a parking lot choking and slamming a cat into the ground. The police used this clue to deduce that this man might kill cats.

*The police then questioned him about the 45 dead cats they had found during the summer. He replied that he'd killed more than 45. This was the second hint that he may have been the killer.

*The police checked his bicycle basket and found 4 dead cats. It was looking more and more like the police had likely found their man. By the way, that brings the total to 50 known dead cats.

*The man said he'd mixed anti-freeze and farm chemicals with cat food. The police had their man!!!

*The man said he killed the cats to get stress out (this is a new strategy I'd never heard of), and because he was angry that his neighbors were feeding stray cats. He wanted to reduce the number of strays.

*The man claims to be a cat lover. Later the police checked his house and found his pet cat that seemed to be well cared for.

*The man is named Shinya Kuboki and is a computer programmer. So far there has been no mention of him claiming to be Johnnie Walker or the magic flute.

Other Sources:
Yomiuri Online
Nikkan-Gendai

Takanotsume Chips

Japanese Food Review #66

Takanotsume translates as "hawks talon" and is the name of a chile pepper in Japan. I guess the pepper looks like a hawks talon (the shape of which we are all much too familiar with). Takanotsume is also an anime (translated as Eagle Talon for some reason) and stars a character that's clearly Hitler Jr. (you can see him on the right side of the bag). I guess the great people at Calbee realized that if they made a spicy chip, they could finally justify putting a Hitler type character on a bag of chips.

Ratings:
Gaybot: 4  The pepper added almost no flavor at all. It was slightly hot and that was all.
Girlbot: 4  We were in agreement on this one.
Overall: 4

The Return of Hitler Jr.

Hitler Jr. was back and better than ever. By that I mean that he still walks like a T-rex. I guess he's from some anime called Eagle Talon wherein he attempts and fails to take over the world in each episode. He's not actually called Hitler Jr., but what else could he be? Maybe a nephew or grandchild.

Fax Machines and Cat Piss: A Deadly Combination

Is this cat considering burning you to death?

Fax machines are still widely used in Japan (see more in The New York Times). A couple different times I've sent an email asking someone to email a copy of something to me. The reply was, "What's your fax number?" That's why this news can even exist.

According to Yomiuri Shimbun, Brother company announced that fax machines produced by the company between January of 2005 and February of this year could burst into flames when they come into contact with cat urine. Apparently a short can be caused when a cat urinates into the hole where paper comes out. No word yet on if human urine or goat urine has the same effect. No injuries have been reported.

Hitler Jr.

It's cute how he holds his arms just like his dad... Wait, maybe I'm thinking about a T-Rex.

A Cat I Know

This is a local cat I've nicknamed Hitler. The name doesn't seem to be catching on with anyone else.