A Very Confusing Sign

 

Wait, is this something I should or shouldn't do?

To be serious for a second, I think this does teach a valuable lesson to the ladies. If you ever notice a man taking inappropriate photos of you, simply freeze and start silently crying.

Kyary Pamyu Pamyu Breo CM

Breo is a mint and Kyary Pamyu Pamyu is that singer. If you don't know who Kyary is, you've either been living under a rock, or outside of Japan, or maybe you're just not that into horrible pop culture. Seriously, if you don't know who she is, I recommend watching her 3 videos on youtube and wasting about 15 minutes of your life. My lady says that when she sees Kyary, she feels embarrassed to be Japanese. I think that's a clear sign she's worth checking out. This CM, by the way, is very close to the video for her new single Candy Candy.

Fine Dining

It wasn't the best hot sand I've ever tried, but for only 500 yen! What a deal.

Watering KISS MINT

Hey fellas, are you having trouble scoring with the ladies? Have ex-girlfriends often listed your incredibly dry mouth as a reason for breaking up with you? If yes, you should really look into these special mints. They help produce an ample amount of saliva (which drives women crazy). I'd say eating these is the equivalent to shooting a futuristic love beam out of your mouth.

The Trees of Atsuta

I've been getting a lot of requests for more pictures of trees.

This tree is said to be over a thousand years old, so I guess you can pray to it.

A branch supporter thing.

Super Mario-looking trees.

Disabled Bikers

Are you unable to walk? Simply bike to the train station and park your bicycle in the spot furthest from the door. There's a spot waiting for you.

Japanese Food Review 2: Matcha Ice Cream Country Ma'am Cookies

Country Ma'am is a very popular chocolate chip cookie in Japan. The texture reminds me a bit of Chips Ahoy's chewy cookies, but the flavor is much better. They, like many Japanese snack companies, release new flavors several times a year. The standard and most popular cookie is vanilla, but there are at least 20 different flavors.

  

 

How many times has this happened to you? You're trying to enjoy 16 individually wrapped chocolate chip cookies, but you can't stop thinking about how the flavor is nothing like matcha ice cream. Your prays have been answered. This cookie has two layers. The inside seems to be a small vanilla flavored cookie with chocolate chips, while the outside is the green, matcha flavored cookie (I'm not sure what the difference between matcha flavored and matcha ice cream flavored is, but I didn't detect any ice cream flavor, unless the flavor of ice cream is sugar). It tastes good, but not as good as vanilla. The package suggests cooling the cookies in the refrigerator. Tried it. Tastes like a cold cookie. It also suggests putting it in the microwave to give it that fresh from the oven taste. Tried it. It came out the microwave looking wet, but, and this is a miracle of science, it really did taste like it was fresh from the oven. On to the ratings.

gaybot: 6.5 (It's good, but it's no vanilla)
girlbot: 3 (again, I don't know what she's thinking. She took one bite and said it was awful this      time.  Why? Because she doesn't like anko (sweet red beans), but there is no anko flavor. I pointed this out. I guess she thought the chocolate chips were beans. She took another bite but didn't change her verdict. It's seriously like having a robot participate in a taste test. Anyway....)
overall: 4.75

I came upon this really cozy store the other day. There are so many beautiful decorations. A big poster of a bikini lady, a small poster of a bikini lady, a big, white wolf, a baby white wolf. Maybe I'm an idiot, but I wasn't quite sure what this store was selling.

Of course! It's an energetic medicine specialty store! In other words, they sell products that make you a more ferocious lover. You can check out their website here. Under 医療機器 (medical equipment) they just have two penis pumps. By the way, this place opens up at 9:00am. I recommend getting there at 8:45 to beat the rush.

Rad Sausage Commercial

Move over oscar mayer. I think this dance is going to be the next macarena.

Did want to watch a 3 minute version of this?

Parking in Japan

This is a parking lot near The Nagoya Dome. Every time there's a big event, they cram in cars like this. I think this was during an EXILE concert.

Curry

I think what I like best about Japan is the authentic Indian curry.

Vanilla

"Hey, do you just want to meet at Vanilla at 5:30?"
"Vanilla?"
"Yeah, you know, Breast Club Vanilla."
"Oh, B.C. Vanilla? Sounds great."

This place is right next to Nagoya Station, right by all the other clubs like this.

Sakura

Sakura is over. Here's a couple more pictures I took.

Chikusa Park.

This is a street light. It was positioned on the color red, which means "stop" in Japan.

A public urinal under a cherry blossom tree.

Shintaro Sakamoto

This happened last November, but the former lead man of Yura Yura Teikoku came out with his first solo album entitled "How to Live With a Phantom". It's a bit groovier and happier than YYT's music, which, depending on who you are, might sound like a horrible thing. At times it can be too groovy (I think he has a bad habit of putting jazzy saxophones in otherwise great songs), but overall this is a very good album. Check out the single "You Just Decided" below. Sakamoto not only wrote the music, but also animated the video. Either he's really motivated, or he just wants to show everyone how much free time he has.

Bento

People often ask me how they can make cute lunches similar to mine. The answer is simple: force a Japanese woman to do it for you. Of course, the follow up questions are usually something like, "Why do you only have one grape in there?" or, "What's that stuff on the right?" A lot of my 40 year-old co-workers seem super jealous.

A very special Easter bento. I appreciate these bentos, but I'm pretty sure you're supposed to make these for very small children. I'd imagine by age 10 you'd already be to cool for a bunny in your lunch.

I guess you could call these ai-bentos, or love bentos. It's pretty common for wives to make these for their husbands, especially newlyweds. There's some sort of lesson for you maybe.

Japanese Food Review 1: Teriyaki Mayonnaise Doritos

I was a little surprised to see these labeled as gourmet. Does that mean normal Cool Ranch Doritos aren't gourmet? Are they simply classy? I also normally wouldn't consider mayonnaise and teriyaki sauce to be particularly gourmet flavors. Teriyaki and Cool Whip, maybe. I think the only thing that makes them "gourmet" is the fact that they've been coated with flavors twice.

The most surprising thing about these chips...

They're shiny. That's also pretty fancy, I suppose. The taste? I went through three distinct stages of flavor enjoyment.
1) This is horrible
2) Is this a little sweet? What's going on?
3) I guess I can eat this.

I asked girlbot, a Japanese lady, what she thought of them. "It's good!" she said enthusiastically. Then she gave it a 3 out of 10. The Japanese must use a different rating system.

Final ratings:
girlbot: 3
gaybot: 4
overall: 3.5
conclusion: I will never purchase this again.

Chikan

This sign tells you to be careful walking here at night because you might get molested, apparently by the hamburglar's little brother.

Deer in Nara: Proof of Evolution?

It's crazy to me that people still don't believe in evolution. How can you say that deer aren't direct descendants of dinosaurs after seeing this video?

Teddy Bear World (Waikiki)

When the Planet Hollywood in Waikiki shut down, some Koreans came up with a great idea: a really expensive place where people can see robotic teddy bears move around a little bit.

A beautiful color scheme.

Every patriotic child in America will want a picture with Barack Obearma.

 Capitalizing on the Jurassic Park craze sweeping America.

Remember when your uncle died in that terrible bike accident? He's back.... in teddy bear form!

Little kids love Elvis. They'll also love the five minutes of real video of fat Elvis arriving in Hawaii that they're forced to watch before the teddy bear version comes out.

Spring

 

 Honey, I'm going to take some super close pictures of flowers. 

Have you seen my red coat and white pants?