Amazing Leap in Diaper Changing Technology

Have you ever noticed that changing an elderly person's diaper doesn't smell so pleasant? And have you thought, "This is one of the most pressing problems in the world. We've got to do something about this!" Well, some scientists in Japan agree with you. The Ando Corporation has invented a machine that attempts to eliminate the bad smells pouring from soiled diapers. The machine uses a type of charcoal that absorbs the foul odors. When asked why the old techniques of plugging your nose or not breathing through your nose needed to be improved upon, a "scientist" replied, "Those techniques aren't making anyone a f@cking yen," and went on to say, "That's what animals do. I've seen my dog eat its own puke. Why don't you do that too?" When asked if he thought hospitals really needed such a large machine that could only be used for a comparatively insignificant task, he replied, "Are you asking if there's too much crap in hospitals. No pun intended!" Most observers say the pun was almost certainly intended.