Noah

This is the Noah Shelter. You're supposed to have it sit in your yard and then get in it if a tsunami comes. Then you repopulate the world or something. I live several miles inland on the third floor of an apartment building, but I'm still thinking about investing $6000 in this and making it the centerpiece of my living room. Here's a video of it in action.

The Colonel Wishes You a Merry Christmas

I think many people know that KFC chicken is considered a traditional Christmas dinner in Japan. You can actually pre-order your Kentucky Christmas bucket in October. Here's a look at a couple of the menus being offered:

It's got everything you'd expect to find on Christmas: a bucket of chicken, a special collectors edition Christmas plate, a Christmas salad, and a chocolate cake.

Recently, other restaurants are challenging KFC's monopoly. One popular alternative is Lotteria.

They offer a much more traditional looking Christmas cake. Also, they've swapped out the Christmas salad for french fries, pigs in a blanket, and french toast. Looks like Lotteria has won this round. Your move KFC. Kentucky Christmas 2013 better be something extra special.

Merry Xmas from Space Shower TV

A very special station id from Space Shower TV. I'm sure Jesus is up in heaven smiling about being honored in such a special way. I recommend putting this video on a loop at all your holiday parties this year.

Snow Angels

It's not always easy living in a foreign country, but it is cool being able to convince people that face down snow angels are part of your culture.

Shinzo Abe

 Photo from wikimedia commons                                                                   

There's going to be an election in Japan on December 16th. It is thought that the prime minister will almost surely be Shinzo Abe. I have read, however, that over 40% of voters are undecided, but only about 10% say they support the current party in power. Anyway, I thought I should share some fun facts about Mr. Abe.

*Abe was prime minister of Japan once already from 2006-2007 (a few weeks short of a year).

*Abe was wildly unpopular as the prime minister, and his administration was wrought with scandals. Among them: 

   1. The minister of health gave a speech in which he repeatedly referred to women as baby making machines. (I know what you're thinking, "What's the big deal?" But even though that phrase sounds perfectly natural in English, I guess it sounds a little rude in the original Japanese.)

   2. One cabinet member committed suicide.

   3. Another cabinet member was involved in a political funding scandal.

   4. In response to these problems, Abe created a new cabinet. A week later another member was involved in a financial scandal.

*Abe doesn't believe that "comfort women" in WWII were forced to "comfort" Japanese soldiers' "private parts."

*Abe claims that he resigned not because of his unpopularity, but because of his chronic diarrhea. (I've read a couple different places that he had to go over 30 times a day). Since then, he has found a new medicine and has his illness under control. I'm sure it won't resurface after he's a wildly unpopular prime minister again.

*His grandfather, Nobusuke Kishi, was prime minister in the late 1950s. Kishi was arrested and accused of being a class A war criminal, but was not convicted, so I'm sure he did nothing wrong in the war. (I'm still having trouble figuring out why China hates Japan).

So, in conclusion, he seems like a really good guy and he promises to take a hard stance against China. Maybe our dreams of participating in WWIII will be realized. I think Abe is kind of like the Abe Lincoln of Japan. I mean, both of their names are Abe (though pronounced differently), and they were both forced to leave office before their time (one by being shot in the head, and one from the runs. Same diff.).      

   

An Ashtray with a Heart of Gold

Looks like lung cancer is going to be a thing of the past in Japan thanks to this invention.

Gatsby

This is the stylish alien who likes style and women. He begins to tell us that he met a strange person when he went to buy Gatsby's Moving Rubber (a hair wax, I'm guessing it has something to do with condoms), but then the door closes. First he scolds the woman and makes her open the door. Then he says she's cute and asks her to close it. I think they're going to do it. Here's another Gatsby commercial.

I can't tell you how much I wish I could report that I'm one of those white dudez.

Ultra Tiger

The ultra tiger is back, in Parisian cafe form! In Japanese, ultra is pronounced u-ru-to-ra. Tora also means tiger, so it's super witty to have a dancing uru-tiger. The name of the computer is ultrabook, and they're just singing about how it can be both a computer and a tablet.

Japanese Food Review #28: Rich Pizza Flavor Bebits

Baby Star Ramen is a ramen chip snack. Basically, it's like eating dried, flavored ramen. It's not all that bad. Now they also make Bebits. I believe this is a combination of baby and bits. In America, I imagine the name might be translated to bits o' baby, or something like that. They're advertised as bite-sized Baby Star, which doesn't make sense since Baby Star is already bite-size. This is actually crushed Baby Star Ramen stuck together:

Looks like a mentally disabled person tried to make miniature hockey pucks out of puppy vomit, right? The container is made to look like cup ramen, and there is actually a warning telling you not to pour boiling water in it.

Ratings:
Gaybot: 5  The taste was pretty good, but it costs more than a bag of chips, has a bit of a strange texture, and looks disgusting.
Girlbot: 3  She prefers the original Baby Star 'chicken soup' flavor.
Overall: 4

The Japanese S Sound

The Japanese have an s sound in their language. I think everyone knows this. Even if you know only a few Japanese words (Sayonara, Gaybot-san, etc.) you have heard it. However, the s sound can not be joined with the vowel i. I know this is true in Korean as well and probably some other languages. For example, a Japanese person might try to say, "Sit down!" but will instead produce, "Shit down!" This, of course, is hilarious and need not be corrected. Still, some people ask me what the difference between "see" and "she" is.
     "You can say set, right?"
     "Set."
     "Right, so just take that same beginning sound and then say ee. So, see."
     "She."
     "Uh, ssss-ee."
     "Ssss-she."
     "Uh, better."
I've tried telling people that when you say sh, your tongue doesn't touch anything, but when you say s, you tongue touches a bit behind your teeth. Now I find out that when a Japanese person says an s, they touch their tongue to their bottom front teeth instead of the top. So for the last few days, I've been periodically trying to say say an s like the Japanese. It's helping me sound like a real idiot.