Caramel Pudding Yukimi Daifuku

Japanese Food Review #73

Yukimi Daifuku is a brand of ice cream mochi. One of their special flavors is custard ice cream with a caramel center (that's what the standard pudding is in Japan). Another fun fact: The Japanese word for pudding is purin. There's you Japanese lesson for the day. It's no secret that I'm a big fan of Yukimi Daifuku and find eating it to be a nearly erotic experience (at least part of that wasn't a secret). This flavor was good, but I still prefer the standard vanilla and last year's cheesecake flavor to this.

Ratings:
Gaybot: 6.5 It was kind of fun, but I don't need to eat it again.
Girlbot: 10 First off, Girlbot is super into this type of pudding. Secondly, this was better than she was expecting because the caramel was quite bitter and not really sweet. If it had been sweet, it would have ruined the mochi. Just to point out, she gave the cheesecake flavor a 10 as well.
Overall: 8.25

Cheers with Dad

This is an old commercial for Qoo, a fake orange juice aimed at children. This ad encourages you to drink Qoo while your dad drinks a beer before bed.

Firefighting

This poster is telling us to put fire detectors in our homes. The bottom caption reads, "We're all heroes!" I like how the firefighters are wearing effeminate scarves and know karate (Girlbot says he's just doing a cool pose and it's not karate. Also, they are cute and in no way funny).

Find the Toilets

I've been blessed because two buildings are being torn down near The Gaybot Times offices. And lucky for you, we've invented a new game. It's called "Find the Toilets in the Wreckage" (I don't know, that's a working title, but it's pretty catchy). How many toilets can you find in the photo above? Too easy? Here's another angle that's a bit more difficult:

This second one might be impossible.

Hint:
There are three in the top photo and four in the second. Have fun searching!

Hopefully some more building with multiple toilets will be destroyed so we can play another round.

Ham Burglar Done in by Saliva

It was the perfect disguise... if it weren't
for that mouth hole that allows licking.

Katsuhiko Iwamoto (60) was arrested last August for burglarizing 27 restaurants and coffee shops between December and June. He stole money, of course, but also raided the refrigerators. On at least 7 occasions he made himself a meal before fleeing. He enjoyed ham, gyozya, etc. In all, he stole ¥2,000,000 worth of items (about $20,000). At one establishment, he made fried bean sprouts. Up to this point you're probably thinking, "Wow, cool, this guy is a modern day Robin Hood..., or something. I wonder if he wears a green pancho?" But here's where the story takes a turn for the worse. Turns out this man has no manners at all, and he didn't even do the dishes. Because of this, investigators were able to secure DNA from the spit he slobbered all over the utensils and plate he used. This ended up being his downfall. The unemployed man wined, "I don't have any money and I was hungry." One can assume the judge retorted,"Sorry, but I don't understand filthy pig language. Can we get a translator in here?"

 Source: Yomiuri Online

Patriotic Elephant

It's amazing to think that Japan, a country that had already developed the technology of "elephant mind control," somehow lost WWII.

English Lesson: Stick Docks

I think I can safely assume that a large percentage of my readers are Japanese attempting to study English. I write about the culture they know and love in a "hip" or "gnarly" way. That might all sound a little technical, but to put it in layman's terms, they read The Gaybot Times so they can learn how to be "b-b-b-bad to the bone" like me. Hopefully this will be the first of many English lessons. Today we will learn how to use the popular phrase "stick docks."

Stick docks are a wildly popular food in the West, so the phrase may simply refer to the foodstuff most people consume daily. However, it is also used heavily in business.

Example:

Business Human 1: How is business with those new goods you have been telling the humans at our office so much about.

Business Human 2: Oh, those goods are selling like stick docks.

Note: Business Human 2 may or may not wink towards the end of that statement.

 This concludes the first lesson. Let me know if you have any questions. Oh, and don't forget to keep studying... that is if you want to make the big stick docks! (wink)

Stew Popsicle Review

Japanese Food Review #72

Gari Gari is a type of cheap popsicle in Japan. It's a normal popsicle on the outside and chunky on the inside (it's supposed to be like a snow cone). Normally the flavors are sweet, but last year they made a corn pottage flavor popsicle, and this year we have a stew one. It should be pointed out that stew, pronounced shi-chew in Japanese, is almost always a white cream based stew in Japan. The package boasts that there are real potatoes inside.

First I licked the outside. It was sweeter than I expected. It was almost vanilla ice cream flavor, but then there was a fairly gross stew aftertaste. I bit in. It was not good, but clearly it was edible. Another bite. Hit a potato chunk. Pretty disgusting. It was a real potato, and it was soft, which means there's some weird chemical keeping it soft in the freezer. I took one more bite. Got a couple more potato chunks. Decided that was enough. I ran it under some water. Of course many of the chunks fell away, but you can see that there were a lot of sizable hunks of potato.

Ratings:
Gaybot: 2 It wasn't as bad as I was expecting, but it still shouldn't exist.
Girlbot: 3 She agrees that it's not that bad, but she can't eat it. She took one bite, seemed pleasantly surprised and said, "Hmm, it's very bad."
Overall: 2.5

Cat Piss

I've been seeing a bunch of cool handmade signs about urine lately. This one was at the zoo near some leopard cages. It reads, "PEE sometimes flies out, so be careful!!" One, I didn't know leopards were that awesome at urinating (it would have to fly at least 5 feet to get you), and two, this means at least one person has been pissed on by a leopard at the Nagoya zoo.

Pumpkin Haagen-Dazs Review

Japanese Food Review #71

 The "Pumpkin Flavored Treat Spooky Fun Challenge" rages on. Today, Haagen-Dazs is presenting a pumpkin (actually squash) flavor ice cream. There were actually little chunks of squash in it, and it did taste like sweet, milky squash.

Ratings:
Gaybot: 5  I like squash, but I'm pretty sure I'd rather have normal squash with vanilla ice cream (though I've never tried that)
Girlbot: 8 She said it wasn't as good as their purple potato ice cream. Still, she wanted to give this a 9 (same score as the potato one), but I convinced her she should probably lower the score.
Overall: 6.5

Not the strongest Haagen-Dazs, but it was still victorious.