G-cluster

This ad does a really good job of explaining what G-cluster is, but if you still don't understand, the company seems to have spent quite a bit of money making this long promotional video that also doesn't explain much. I guess it's a game console that lets you use a smart phone or tablet as a controller.

Secret Guyz

I'm sure you all recognize Shuto Yoshihara, member of the handsome actors group Naked Boyz (that's seriously a real thing). Well, he's back with a couple friends in his new band Secret Guyz. I guess the idea is that they all work as women during the day and are flaming homosexual super heroes when called upon. It's one of those formulas that will work song after song. Secret Guyz are on the same record label as Momoiro Clover Z.

Lord

A: What do you want to name our new technology center?
B: I don't know. I was thinking "Jesus Christ Is My Lord and Savior" has a nice ring.
A: That does seem like an appropriate name for a technology center, but I don't think it would fit on a business card.
B: Oh, peanut farts!

Wait, It's Illegal to Urinate on People?

It's ok for people to watch you, though.

Yomiuri Online reported that a man (22) in Kasuga, Fukuoka has been arrested for urinating on a high school girl. The girl (18) was riding her bicycle home when the man somehow made an awesome (one can assume) surprise piss attack. The man says he's a construction worker. Whistling and howling at women likely wasn't working all that well, so the old "urinate on the passerby" probably seemed like the next logical step. The police had actually already been on the lookout for the man because in the neighboring city of Onojo, he had been witnessed trying to piss on others about ten times since the middle of August. It's been a busy month.

Italians Have Big Noses

This is an ad for Gusto's Southern Italian Fair. Gusto is a family restaurant you can find in almost any town in Japan. The two Japanese guys are the comedy duo Ungirls (meaning not girls?) and they're supposed to look like Italians. You know how Italians always have blond hair and huge noses, right? I mean, we've all seen Pinocchio. Anyway, Italians look stupid and it's funny so you should eat at Gusto.

If You Can't Steal, Burn?

Even cartoon warning signs didn't stop this "gnarly" dude.

Kochi, Japan has had a burning problem... and it has nothing to do with people's crotches! (To be serious for a second, I'm sure numerous people in Kochi have crotch issues that require medical attention). Yomiuri Online reported that on June 30th someone set six separate fires. On the 26th of this month, the police arrested a man who is suspected of having started at least one of the fires. He is accused of starting fire to a cardboard box full of rags that he placed upon a home's air conditioner at 1:15am. Damage was only done to one exterior wall of the home. The accused dude is a college freshmen and offered this explanation, "I was irritated that I can't rob stuff so I set a fire. Burning stuff was fun." There was no explanation for why he can't rob stuff, but one can assume it has to do with a lack of courage. Perhaps this man was born with a medical condition like "super tiny balls" or something.

Spicy Curry Kaki No Tane

Japanese Food Review #65

Confession time guyz! Um, yeah, there's usually some Kaki No Tane in my house and quite often it's wasabi flavor! It goes well with beer. Kameda brings us this limited summer edition of the snack. I bet when I say, "summer," most of you involuntarily scream, "spicy curry," without even thinking. They're basically the same thing. These weren't actually hot at all, but they did taste like curry and were a tasty treat.

Ratings:
Gaybot: 7  These are as good as the wasabi ones, and though they aren't an amazing snack, they are slightly healthier than chips and complement alcohol well.
Girlbot: 7  They were better than she was expecting.
Overall: 7

Bicycle Seat Thief

FNN News reported that Joji Kondo (35) was arrested on the 22nd after he was caught stealing three motorized bicycle seats in Yokohama. The value of the three seats was estimated at 18,000 yen. Clearly just another dude trying to make a quick buck in the high stakes world of bicycle seats, right? But when the police searched Mr. Kondo's home, they discovered 197 more seats. All of the seats were leather. Mr. Kondo is clearly a wise man, because he knew exactly what he needed to say. He was quoted as saying, "You can tell which ones women sat on by smelling them. I like the touch and the smell of the leather." The report doesn't say anything about it, but I'm sure the police let him walk after that defense. Actually, another article gave a different quote. It said he likes to smell and lick the seats.

Making Friends

Because I am a genius, it's very difficult for me to socialize with "normals." I often feel lonely and long to "shoot da shit" with my fellow human beings. Luckily, I have discovered that a large number of intellectuals are active on youtube, and I have been able to interact with them. I thought I'd share a few of these stimulating conversations.

This first one is from the candy toilet video I made. In it, I added a surplus of water causing the miniature toilet to overflow with candy foam.

Kathryn: You suppose to use the top part of that rectangle thing to put the water in it not just put how many water you want to hae
Kathryn:  Have
Kathryn: The one with the eyes the top part
Gaybot: Wait, just to be clear, how many water should I put in the one with the eyes?
Kathryn:  Like two scoops lol
Kathryn:  Or 1 either one

Needless to say, we will be friends for life. This next lively conversation comes from my  second candy beer video in which I play the role of a "Johnny B. Kool" type character.

Brandon: Weirdo
Gaybot: Is that a racist slur? Shame on you.
Brandon:  I'm 13 Dumbass
Gaybot:  Call me old-fashioned, but being 13 isn't an excuse for your extreme racism.
Brandon:  Ur still a weirdo to me
Gaybot:  What? I politely explain that you're racist and I'm the weirdo? Unbelievable.
Brandon: Yup

Sometimes two geniuses have a difference of opinion which leads to a fierce debate, but in the end, both genius hearts are still overflowing with respect. Really, what a brilliant move to feign as if he didn't understand the word racist.

Cat Woman

The only thing I find sexier than cats is not having to worry about looking a woman in the eyes.