Boys Age

I've been listening to a lot of Japanese indie rock. Many of the bands sing all their songs in English, but I usually can't understand more than a few words. Boys Age is one of these bands. They have a weird sound (which I think is really good) and seem to be intentionally mumbling on top of having a strong accent. This song is called "I Wish for God's Sake."


Also, this is their latest song:

You can see the lyrics here. Theoretically the first line is, "Her two eyes will sucked me then I felt hard-pain." Have fun trying to follow along.

Gramorous Bambi

Dennis: Okay, I just don't know if "Gramorous Bambi" is the best name for the salon.
Denise: Yeah, I was thinking "Hair Make Gramorous Bambi" as a full title might pull a lot more customers in.
Janice: Ooh, I love that!
Denise: Don't you just love that?
Janice: That is just too much fun!
Dennis: Ahh, you know Bambi was a male deer, right? And this a salon for women. That's kind of confusing, isn't it?
Denise: I'm pretty sure Bambi was gay.
Janice: For sure at least bisexual.
Dennis: I don't think that's true, and I don't see how it would help anyway.
Denise: Oh! "Hair Make Gramorous Bambi Loves London!"
Dennis: What?
Janice: Oh may God! That works even if he wasn't a bisexual!

Takoyaki Rainbow

I don't know how I missed this, but Stardust, the record label that brought us Momoiro Clover Z, is promoting a new group, Takoyaki Rainbow. Takoyaki is a breaded octopus ball snack, and each member has their own assigned color, so there's the rainbow for you. Here's their second single, "Naniwa No Haniwa."

The music is pretty unbearable, but it seems like they are Stardust's answer to Kyary Pamyu Pamyu. They tried to make the video as crazy as possible. Haniwa are ancient Japanese clay figures and the girls are searching for them. There are some giant haniwas dancing towards the end of the video. Also, I'm glad that there's finally a girl band that can play recorders in unison. If you want more of this stuff for some reason, check out their first single, "Over the Takoyaki Rainbow." I'm expecting huge things from these young ladies!

Naked Giraffe Hat Boy

Hiro: So, you've invented some toy that's going to save the company?
Kazushi: Pretty much I can't think of a human who's not going to want one of these, boss.
Hiro: Enough suspense! Let's see it!

Hiro: Ahh...
Kazushi: It took me a ton of time to get the hips right, but it was worth it.
Hiro: It's... a naked boy... with the scalp of a giraffe?
Kazushi: Turn it around, bro.

Hiro: Wings? It's an angel?
Kazushi: A baby angel, yeah.
Hiro: Umm... listen... I'm actually having a really hard time concentrating right now... umm.
Kazushi: What's on your mind, boss?
Hiro: Listen, I don't know how to say this... so I'll just come out and say it... Have you been sleeping with my wife?
Kazushi: What?! No!
Hiro: Listen, I saw on her phone that she called you on Valentine's Day right before she went out to "visit her sick father." I mean, come on!
Kazushi: Okay, I never wanted to tell you this...but... I only have one ball, alright, dude.
Hiro: What?
Kazushi: I was born with two, but I lost one when I was 17. Now are you happy?
Hiro: My god... I'm so sorry... I had no idea... umm... yeah, great work. We'll start producing these giraffes right away.

Kyary Pamyu Pamyu - Yume No Hajimarinrin

Kyary's back!!! And she's finally bidding farewell to her polar bear guardian!!! The title of this song means "the beginning of (my) dream, ring ring." It's another very witty title because she's combined the end of "hajimari" (beginning) with "rin rin" (ring ring). So that works on a ton of levels or something.

The song is featured in a Chintai commercial (a site where you can search for apartments) and seems to be aimed at graduating students (March is the end of the school year in Japan). You can hear her say in katakana English "Goodbye teacher, my friends" in the chorus. The video features references to all her previous videos and she sports some of her famous outfits. It shows how much she's grown up. I mean, remember when she used to fake play the guitar next to monsters? Well now she does it with that polar bear and stuff. Anyway, she's supposed to grow up in the video, first being a child, then a student, then the pon pon pon girl, then a fashion monster, and finally wearing a furisode.

Red Boat Race Dancer's Identity Revealed

I'm sure you all remember the guess who dynamite boat race commercial. It turns out that Boatnya Red is indeed Naomi Watanabe!

She's back and sexier than ever. Now we're supposed to guess who the blue lady is. I don't really know why we'd care (she's not overweight at all) and I have no idea who she is. I'll try to do some research (maybe I'll as Girlbot when she wakes up). Stay tuned!!!

Team Read

I've been getting a lot of mail asking why there have been so few articles published recently. Most of you barely know what's going on in Japan. Well, I'll admit it. The rumors are all true. I haven't been as focused on The Times because I've joined Team Read.

I'm the cool looking one.

I know this doesn't have much to do with Japan, and I don't mean to get too philosophical on all of you, but reading has know borders!!

Join the team, you idiots!!!

Jūrokucha

Jūrokucha means "16 teas" and is made up of 16 ingredients. It's kind of like Dr. Pepper minus 7 (corn syrup, caffeine, synthetic prune extract, shoe polish, etc.). It's considered a healthy drink, and it's slogan is Iki-iki Japan (iki-iki meaning "lively"). That's why that lady leads all the mascots of Japanese prefectures in 3 seconds of exercise.

The songs lyrics roughly translate to:
Japans future is lively lively.
Drink  Jūrokucha (gulp gulp).

This kind of nationalistic propaganda is very reminiscent of the type seen prior to WWII. I have to say, I'm not a huge fan of that, but I do like how the lady frantically points at the bottle to remind us what we should buy. Overall, I'd give the commercial a B+.

Jins Anti-Pollen Glasses 2014

This commercial may not be as radical as last year's, but there's still a lot to like about this. For one, the amount of pollen that can not reach your eye balls has increased from 93% to 98%. Not only that, but apparently Jins has discovered the Japanese Bill Cosby and hired him to write the music for this commercial. Also, that hand motion the model lady does at the end just might be the next "cut it out" (made famous by the late, great Dave Coulier).