Stay Hot Kawaii

Nissin has been making very enjoyable Cup Noodle commercials lately. This is their summer commercial.

SPOILER ALERT: I'm going to tell you everything that happens in the above video.

A high school girl is enjoying a cup of instant ramen. She says:

This flavor! Cup Noodle is super cute! Noodles are cute! Shrimp are cute! Hot water is cute! All of it is cute!

All the while she's turning into a Sailor Moon type character. Then a voice says, "Stay hot. Cup Noodle." This reminds us that we definitely don't want to eat this in the summer.

Oh, that was a great commercial..., but wait! We're only half way through! Next we see Tatsuo Umemiya, a famous 77-year-old actor. The audience is wondering what funny transformation we'll see him undergo. This is why I'm not in marketing. I couldn't see that the answer was to have him do the exact same thing as the high school girl.

Fun fact about Mr. Umemiya: He was born in Harbin, China because his family was stationed in Manchuria until after the war ended.

Taiwan Ramen Potato Chips

Japanese Food Review #67

 Apparently Taiwan ramen doesn't exist in Taiwan. It was invented by a Taiwanese guy in Nagoya. The original shop, Misen, is right next to Imaike Station, though you can now get it all over Nagoya. It's ramen with green onions, a ton of chili pepper, garlic, and ground pork. Though the Japanese usually don't prefer hot food, this ramen is legitimately spicy. So thank god Koikeya has finally made a Taiwan ramen potato chip.

Ratings: 
Gaybot: 4 There was a little garlic and a little meat flavoring, but mostly it was just chili pepper. The soup is good, but it's not my favorite ramen. This is much worse.
Girlbot: 2.5 She really likes the ramen, and this was not as good as she was expecting.
Overall: 3.25

American Noodle: Burger Style

Japanese Food Review #63

 There was such a massive response to the hot dog ramen post that I just had to do a hamburger one as well. Again, the actual flavor of this isn't burger, it's pepper meat. I think we're all overly familiar with the pepper meat flavor, so there's no need to explain anything in this post. I will say, there is actually dehydrated cheese in this cup. That's kind of cool and mostly disgusting.

Ratings:
Gaybot: 4  It's not horrible, and it tastes more like a cheeseburger than the hot dog one tasted like a hot dog, but, to me, that's actually a bad thing.
Girlbot: 5  She preferred this one, but doesn't think it's great.
Overall: 4.5

Hot dog eeks out a narrow victory.

American Noodle: Hot Dog Style

Japanese Food Review #62

 When you think America, the first thing that probably comes to mind is dehydrated hot dog slices inside a cup ramen container. Nissin has captured the flavor of this American mainstay perfectly. The actual flavor is "hot chili" and it was actually quite spicy. I usually don't buy cup ramen. People often think of it as a meal, but I'm pretty sure it has the same nutritional value as a bag of Doritos and a cup of hot water. Anyway, maybe because I haven't had any cup ramen in years, this was surprisingly not horrible.

Ratings:
Gaybot: 5
Girlbot:  4.5 She likes cup ramen and found this to be slightly below average, but still pretty good.
Overall: 4.75

Lotteria's Ramen Burger

Japanese Food Review #52

 I wrote about another ramen burger where the bun was replaced by noodles. Well, Lotteria took that interesting idea and changed it into a horrible one: "What if the patty is made of noodles!" Yes, this is bread with noodles, sauce, and a piece of pork in the middle. You also get a bowl of soup and can buy a kaedama (extra thing of noodles) for 100 yen. The burger is not only offered for a limited amount of time, but each store sells a limited amount each day. For example, only the first 150 lucky folks can get one at the Lotteria I visited. The soup was probably the worst ramen broth I've ever had. The burger was okay when I got enough pork in my mouth, but it shouldn't exist.

Ratings:
Gaybot: 3 It's kind of fun to eat something that you know you will never eat again.
Girlbot: 2  She would rather have ramen.
Overall: 2.5

Hokkaido Ramen (Soy Sauce)

Japanese Food Review #49

Everybody knows I like my ramen like I like my women, ripe 'n' dry (or am I thinking of bread fruit?). The package has pretty much everything you want. There's a bunch of poetic, nonsensical English. It also says "Beware of bears," in Japanese. And of course there's the winner of the "Best Bear Drawing" contest from some junior high school in Hokkaido (I'm assuming). Also the ramen is pretty good.

Ratings:
Gaybot: 7.5  An extra point five for the package.
Girlbot: 10  She originally said the noodles were restaurant quality. She then decided that was going too far, but they were still of a higher quality than other instant noodles. The soup also didn't taste cheap. Furthermore, she usually doesn't enjoy soy sauce ramen, but the flavor was excellent.
Overall: 8.75