Tips for the Frugal Traveler #3

We all know that urinating while watching strangers walk down the street (or just giving said strangers the chance to observe you relieving yourself) is one of the great pleasures in life. Unfortunately, this gift of nature is the same reason there's a warrant for my arrest in New York. But in Japan many open air urinals exist! You can watch squirrels or ask passersby the time as you go to the bathroom! And here's a great tip: drink way more water than your body requires or simply fake urinate several times a day. You can spend a good portion of your travels enjoying this free activity.

Tips for the Frugal Traveler #2

For me, every vacation I go on starts out well enough, but by day two or three I can't shake the thought, "Man, I'd really like to read about sports. That, or page through an erotic magazine. I don't have enough money for both! What am I going to do!" In Japan, the answer is simple: buy a sports newspaper.

A sports newspaper is a thin paper that almost only has sport stories. It's a great idea, but I guess some people were a little bored by the lack of variety, so now, almost all sports papers have a one or two page erotic section.

This is just a corner of the page. I can't show the rest because there's actual bare breasts and stuff. Many of the articles are similar to letters to Penthouse, except there are usually pictures to go along with them, which gives them way more of a "news" feel. Also, you might think you'll now have to read the sports in private, but don't worry. I've seen old men reading only the porn sections on crowded trains, so feel free to learn about "the news."

Tips for the Frugal Traveler #1

McDonald's in Japan are offering a great deal on Big Macs and Mega Macs. If it takes more than 60 seconds to hand you a Big Mac from the time you finish paying, you get a free coupon for next time. One helpful tip is just to start screaming English at the employees. I find, "Wait, does this shit come with mustard! Seriously, somebody better tell me the mustard situation now!" works well. Also, dropping dropping your change behind the counter helps. If all else fails, go for the tried and true fake heart attack (as if I even needed to tell you).