Zero Gravity Chair!!!!

It's finally here! The future is now! I can't believe it's happened in my lifetime! The zero gravity chair!



I guess some people might call it by another name, like maybe "shitty lawn chair", but I think this Japanese company knows that they have changed our reality. No more sitting on cushioned furniture for us.

Robot Baseball... Jackie Robotson?????

In the 90s, many believed that the game Super Baseball 2020 was simply science-fiction. Their small brains couldn't understand how much human brains yearn for the day when men, women, and robots, yes robots, all compete in a futuristic baseball match. Also, home runs should only count if you hit it to center. There should be like glass or something covering the crowd so the ball falls back into play. That would be awesome. Also, why doesn't baseball have "stop zones" where the ball automatically stops yet?

Well, it seems that we may only be six short years from seeing games played at Cyber Egg Stadium (such a cool name)!


It's cool that they even made it look like a 90s video. It's good to know that there are at least a few dedicated scientists trying to answer the question, "Can I devote my entire life to making something no one wants at all?"

Learning about Poop

This is a new exhibit at a science museum in Tokyo. Kids learn about poop by putting on poop hats and sliding down a toilet into the exciting, poop-filled sewer. After that, they can listen to the toilet chorus sing. And of course there's a stand where they can make clay poops and set them in Japanese style toilets. I mean, this is science were talking about. I guess it's a little boring, but at least the kids are learning.

Ice FUN Zone

I've always said you haven't lived until you touch a big block of ice that a bunch of other people have been touching.

Also, it looks like this has turned into Korean Week here at the Times. I probably won't have anything else about Korea after this.

Amazing Soft Contact Device Invented

I know some people are a little squeamish about touching their eyeballs. I think that's probably because they're not touching them with tweezers. That's all going to change. I can already see myself explaining to my bewildered grandchildren that some humans used to manually insert their contacts! The future truly is a wondrous land.

Pizza Hut Revolutionizes Pizza Box Technology

Let me guess how your last phone call to order pizza ended:

Pizza Human: So, just the two pizzas?
You: Yeah, that's all.
Pizza Human: And how many boxes do you want with that?
You: Umm...
Pizza Human: I assume you're going to get at least one.
You: I can get just one?
Pizza Human: Yeah, I can try to stuff them into one box if you'd like.
You: Can I get two?
Pizza Human: Sure, no problem. It's just company policy that I have to remind you that the rain forest  is being cut down at an incredibly rapid rate.
You:...I'll take the two boxes...
Pizza Human: And I'll just call up the rain forest and tell that chimpanzee family they'll have to move again.
You: ...
Human Pizza: Okay, you're pizzas should be there in about 30 minutes. Thank you, sir.

These conversations might soon be a thing of the past thanks to the hardworking scientists at Pizza Hut's Japanese research facilities.

What? Two pizzas in one box? The only reason I never ordered Pizza Hut was because I didn't want to waste cardboard. Things are looking up. Hello many evenings of heartburn and depression!

Brain Reading Camera

This product was created by the Neurowear, the same company that brought us Necomimi (brain controlled cat ears) and a brain controlled tail. You should probably watch a bit of those if you haven't. This product requires that you wear your i-phone on your head (I'm already loving it), reads your brainwaves, and records things it thinks you enjoy. Later you can look at what you enjoyed. It would really help me, like, "Oh, I really liked looking at the floor while drinking whiskey. I'll have to try that again. I would have never remembered that." The product ranks how much you like things from 0 to 100 and records things that score above 60. If you actually watch the video, you can see that the meter is constantly flying all over the place. It will hit 61 and be in the 30s in less than 2 seconds. It's as if this machine doesn't really work, or perhaps that woman was flooded with conflicting emotions when she saw that picture of fireworks.