Super Mario and Luigi Gum

To celebrate the 30th anniversary of Super Mario Bros., Nintendo has teamed up with Lotte to make special Mario gum. Makes sense. Let's take a look at both gums.

Japanese Gum Review #13

The title of this gum is Mario's Invincible Star. You probably already guessed that this is code for ginger ale. First off, thumbs up to Fit's for the packaging. Secondly, it doesn't taste like ginger ale. It kind of tasted like lime to me. This made me furious, because limes are green and Mario is red. Still steaming about this one.

Ratings:
Gaybot: 5  Not horrible.
Girlbot: 5  She thought it tasted like lemon. Also, she initially gave it a 7, but after tasting the Luigi gum, she changed her mind.
Overall: 5

Japanese Gum Review #14

This gum is called Luigi's Unlimited 1-Ups. This is in reference to jumping on that turtle forever to get 1-ups. Of course jumping on a turtle tastes like melon soda, which is pretty popular in Japan, especially with kids. This gum, in my opinion, was good and did taste like melon soda. Girlbot said it tasted like soda, which is an awful flavor often used in children's candy here. It reminded her of her childhood.

Ratings:
Gaybot: 7  Luigi is cooler than Mario.
Girlbot: 5  She tried this and said it was very good and then gave it a 5. Then I questioned why she gave it a worse score than the Mario gum, and her reaction was to knock the Mario gum down to 5. So they're equal? Even though she said Luigi's is better? Yes.
Overall: 6

Mercedes' Mario Commercial

Have you seen this commercial yet? First it asks what a Mercedes GLA would look like if it were in an 8-bit world. Apparently it would be able to jump the flag pole and Mario would get his wish of becoming a human. Then it asks, "What would the real Mario be like? Turns out he'd be this really ugly super hero that still dies when stuff touches his shin. I prefer John "The Pest" Leguizamo's take on that reality a bit more, but it's pretty tough for anyone to out do the late, great Leguizamo.

Real Mario Kart

Saw these two dudes cruising around town the other day. A couple of notes:

-An old man asked them what they were doing, and they said they were just aimlessly driving around. Also, they were just driving with normal traffic on big, busy roads.
-All the pedestrians I saw were legitimately excited to see them. One grown woman screamed with excitement, and about six people in their sixties came out of a restaurant to get a better look.
-These dudes were both talking on flip phones, so one can surmise that they spent a large amount of their incomes on go karts/Mario and Luigi costumes.

Hardcore Zelda Hip Hop

Link is back... in "gangsta" form. Though this song seems to be on the cutting edge of sound technology, Girlbot says that it's a very old song with a few lyrics changed for the new game. Why aren't any Zelda rap songs released in America. I recommend sending threatening mail to Nintendo asking just this question. Happy New Year everyone!