Where's Waldo Gum

Japanese Gum Review #16

Lotte has finally listened to the consumers and made a Where's Waldo themed gum. By the way, it's Where's Wally in Japan. There were several different covers, and I chose the one where he's doing the traditional Fit's dance. If you don't know what I'm talking about... I don't have time for you. Please stop reading now.

You've probably noticed that Wally wears red and white. That's why you likely already guessed that this is a strawberry and milk flavored gum. Actually, it mostly tasted like really fake strawberry candy with a hint of fake milk. I'd say it was a little kid flavor.

The best part of this gum, hands down, was the back of the box. Free Where's Wally!!!!! (hint: he's wearing red and white).

Ratings:
Gaybot: 5  Bumped it up from a 4.5 for the packaging. Why don't all boxes have crap like this?
Girlbot: 5  She says it tastes like a gum she had as a child.
Overall: 5

Fit's Cat Commercial

The newest Fit's commercial is for their Link gums. They claim that the mint flavor lasts for 50 minutes. The concept of this commercial is that you can be in a good mood the whole way to work if you chew this gum.
Let me see, how can I describe what a good mood is. I guess it's kind of like when you have that recurring dream where your cat mutates into a giant and plays with you for 50 minutes. You know he will eventually devour you, and for some reason no one will help you or even notice you. Then, right before your grizzly death, the cat bursts into nothing and you wake up in a pool of your own urine. You know, a good mood.

Fit's Shiro-Kuma Gum

Japanese Gum Review #11

Lotte's newest gum is shiro-kuma (meaning polar bear) flavor, thus the super cute bear face package (I think we're all aware that polar bears and cats have nearly identical faces other than the sizes of their noses, so they can be drawn the same way). When the piece of gum hit my taste buds, I was instantly repulsed. This tasted nothing like raw polar bear meat. It turns out it's some sort of sundae flavor or something. The package says that fruit, azuki (sweet red beans), and condensed milk flavorings were used. But the flavor is just the tip of the polar bear dick, as they say.

There are instructions on how to make a polar bear.
Step 1: Chew delicious gum!
Step 2: Wrap gum in wrapper!
Step 3: You made me!
In my opinion, you can pretty much skip step 3 and it will turn out pretty much the same way.

Looks like my entire family is getting polar bears for Christmas this year.

Ratings:
Gaybot: 6
Girlbot: 6
Overall: 6