Sour Cream and Onion Cheetos

Japanese Food Review #102

Of course it's a historic day in the U.S. with gay marriage becoming legal in all 50 states. It's all anyone is talking about, including the always cool/hilarious Chester Cheetah!

New Flamin’ Hot Mix-Ups are so good they’re disorienting. I couldn’t even remember what color my stripes were. Then I realized I have spots.

— Chester Cheetah (@ChesterCheetah) June 26, 2015

I hadn't realized that people were referring to gay marriage as "new flamin' hot mix-ups". Anyway, glad to hear Chester voice his support. It's amazing he can say something so moving that also makes us chuckle.

On a sad note, Cheetos in Japan pretty much suck. They have two standard flavors, cheese and bbq. They're both quite sweet for what is supposed to be a savory snack. It is an abomination. Also, it is my duty to let you, the readers, know that I have always enjoyed sour cream and onion snacks, and that will influence the score I giveth to these.

Ratings:
Gaybot: 6.5  They were still a little sweet, but the sour cream and onion taste was good. They were the best Cheetos I've had in Japan.
Girlbot: 5  She's not huge on sour cream and onion.
Overall: 5.75

Pepsi Cheetos

Japanese Food Review #59

 I think we all remember when Frito Lay and Pepsi (the same corporation) finally teamed up to make Hamburger Cheetos. Will their newest venture be as successful? These aren't actually called Pepsi Cheetos. The official name is Shuwa Shuwa Cola Corn Snack. The corn snack is clearly a Cheeto, the cola is Pepsi, and shuwa shuwa means "fizzy" or something. Sounds like a perfect combination. I've always said Cheetos could be at least 20% fizzier, and these Cheetos did in fact taste fizzy..., or something like it. I haven't tried most poisons, but I'm guessing some produce the same tingling sensation as these. Also, they weren't at all salty, and they weren't really sweet either. They were kind of sour and did taste a little like Pepsi (perhaps like poisoned Pepsi). All of this and you could still taste the base corn Cheeto. It was horrible.

Ratings:
Gaybot: 0  I originally thought this was a 1 to 10 scale, but this snack has redefined my snack world.  
Girlbot: -5  Again, I'll allow this rating. She said that even when a snack is horrible, she can usually eat a few more, but with these, she could tell after the first bite that she never wanted to eat them again.
Overall: -2.5

Japanese Food Review #41: Cheeseburger Cheetos

Pepsi and Frito Lay have finally joined forces to make a special flavor of Cheetos. Many of you are probably thinking, "Wait, I thought Pepsi and Frito Lay were part of the same company." To you I say, "Shut your stupid mouth. Don't ruin this for us. You can burn in hell for all I care." Anyway, you're supposed to enjoy these with a tall Pepsi, but I had it with a Coke instead. I've got a ton of thoughts on the whole Pepsi vs. Coke war, but Tim Heidecker sums up my thoughts really well. I was expecting these to taste like beef with maybe a little ketchup flavor, but they seriously tasted like a juicy cheeseburger with all those toppings. It's an artificial flavor I've never tasted before.

Ratings: 
Gaybot: 7  I don't think I ever need to eat these again, but if you ever get the chance, I encourage you to try them out. I guess I'd just rather eat a real burger.
Girlbot: 6.5  She says the flavor is amazing, but she doesn't like them.
Overall: 6.75