Whisper Pure Hada

I've been getting a lot of e-mails from readers asking about Japanese sanitary napkins. Many of you are particularly interested in how they are marketed. A couple of thoughts on these requests:

1. I'm disgusted by you.
2. I'll do anything for my readers, and, God help me (I'm sure this is some sort of a sin), but I'm going to write a little about the subject. Let's look at the commercial for one brand, Whisper Pure Hada:

First off, hada means skin, so I guess they're guaranteeing that they can cure your horrible rashes. Also, I love the symbolism of the pink frogs (let's just say that if it were that time of the month for Dr. Spock, the frogs might be a lighter green). The big sell here is that the napkin is so absorbent that not only are your unspeakable liquids sucked up, but so are all of the terrible odors! Now you get why it's called "Whisper," right? I mean, it's not completely silent, but it's quiet compared to most women's traditional odor removal tactics (power vacuums, maracas, etc.). In the song they promise the smell will go to zero (the frogs say double zero). Furthermore, the day's worries will go to zero (typical women, no worries in the world other than the strong stench wafting from their bodies).